my time, that's your time | jungkook

Chapter 3 - Seokjin - movie

Jungkook wants to get better. He truly does. He saw a therapist even though the news of it getting out would far outweigh any benefits he would gain. He was taught to redirect the impulse to something more neutral, like playing with his earlobe. A few sessions later, he felt like he made zero progress, maybe even slidden back several steps.

Seokjin meets him at the movie theater, a little one by Seokjin's house, nondescript enough that they can slip inside without any help from security guards.

Seokjin is wearing his gaming-clothes, which lets Jungkook guess that his hyung came straight from the computer to the theater. Jungkook smiles, extending a hand in greeting.

Seokjin pulls him into a full on hug. "I barely see you these days, Jungkook-ah."

"Sorry, hyung," Jungkook says. He can't help but feel sorry all the time these days, sorry about everything.

The older member slaps him on the back. "Don't worry," he says. "The cure? Popcorn with a ton of butter."

Jungkook's eyes progressively widen as Seokjin buys an extra large popcorn, empties it into an even larger box, and pumps a bunch of butter on it. Jungkook thinks about the grease around his lips, the potential for new blemishes to form.

And then Seokjin turns around with the most brilliant grin, and Jungkook forgets all about that.

Thirty minutes later, Jungkook's whole hand is greasy as he continues to snack on the drenched popcorn. It's the most delicious thing he's had in a while though. He glances beside him, where Seokjin is cracking up about the movie—a comedy titled Three of the Dumbest Ahjussi, a Korean version of The Three Stooges. As Seokjin throws his head back when one of the main characters swallows a bottle of Tabasco, Jungkook can't help but join in.

Another hour passes, and Jungkook's stomach is full of popcorn and grease. He walks out of the theater forgetting to put on his mask.

Seokjin tosses the empty box into a nearby trash can. He turns, mimicking one of the main characters who tried to pick up a drenched cat and got clawed right in the nose.

Jungkook clutches the hem of his hoodie and tries not to throw up from laughing too hard. At the same time, he steps into the light of the concession area. He had so much fun, forgot all of his problems, so much so that....

"Jungkook." Seokjin's humor fades right off his face, replaced with a stillness that reflects genuine worry. "What happened? Around your lips...."

Jungkook draws a hand up to his mouth, cursing himself at how stupid he was. Of course with all of that butter, his makeup would come off. Revealing all of the new scars that were formed after picking at the blemishes around his lips.

"It's nothing," Jungkook says.

"You're such a horrible liar," Seokjin says. "Let me see. Maybe we can go to the hospital together."

Going to the hospital, and having to explain all of this to his hyung sends a wave of panic and shame coursing down his spine. He'd rather do anything than that. "It's okay, hyung. I'll treat it myself. I'm sure it's just a rash or something from the food."

"You've never gotten a rash like that," Seokjin says. "Really. We can get you some medicine. It'll be no big problem."

Even though Seokjin means well, Jungkook can't help but wonder if that will ever be true—his skin not being a problem. He's struggled with his skin ever since he became a teenager, and although it got better at times, right now his skin is his worst enemy, that part of himself that he wishes he could shed off completely, redonning a new one. One with no blemishes. And while he's at it, he'll replace a part of his brain too, the one that deals with impulses and the desire to just pick at it a bit more.

"I'll text you, hyung," Jungkook says. Then, he slaps on a mask at lightning speed and takes off out of the theater.

He can't even say a proper goodbye, to the member who's always looked out for him—he can't tell the truth, because it's just too much of a pill to swallow. He knows Seokjin won't judge him, but to say out loud that he's not only struggling, but drowning because of this disorder—that's too much.

"Jungkook-ah! You still need to treat me for ice cream."

"Later!" he yells, but half of him gets stuck in the glass door that swings shut too quickly. He wiggles to get loose.

Seokjin isn't even laughing at him, which can only mean one thing. He's truly worried. He usually will take every opportunity to tease him, but not now.

Jungkook, picturing Seokjin becoming depressed because of him, is another image he would rather not have in his mind. Jungkook rushes to his car, keys jangling like the sound of ringing in bad luck. His boots slam against the ground, so forcefully that he imagines the concrete might crack under him.

When he reaches his car, he turns around. The air is still, and Seokjin isn't there. He's relieved, but he knows that his big secret has reached its tipping point, about to spill out on the floor like honey through his fingers.

He jams his car key into the lock, twisting it in one decisive movement. I'll explain, hyung. Soon, just not now.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment letting me know what you think so far! ❤️