What Love Used To Look Like

Marionette

When it comes to other things,

I am easily forgetful;

I forget faces, I struggle with dates,

My mind is muddled with indecipherable images

of war, lost, and regrettable sunsets—

But with you,

Memories come faster than lightning,

Cascading into my head with visions of you leaving;

I try to stay afloat at midnight,

Keeping myself from cutting my wrists open,

I have to hold on to my blanket,

Just so I wouldn't reach for the blade hidden in my drawer;

I am haunted by thoughts of you,

Skating through life, chewing your words, saying that you cared for me

and forgetting about me in that same one breath,

Kissing her thoroughly,

Like I was not in the room,

Like I was as disposable as the water bottle on your counter that warm August afternoon,

our damn little secret, you kept me—

Like I was merely an accessory,

Useful to you only when you need me to fix your messy bed;

I am exhausted from my performance as your marionette,

I am cutting the strings that bound me to you.