"Stop being lazy! Wake up. It's noon already. You can't sleep all day" my mom said yanking the blanket away from me.
"I'm awake, mom. You don't have to yell, and yank my blanket away. I'll be down in a second"
"Well, hurry up" she stormed out of the room.
I hate my life.
I got out of bed, and made my way to the living room to find my sister watching TV in her pajamas. She still hasn't changed yet. She looks like she just woke up few minutes ago. I'm pretty sure my mom didn't force her to wake up. She only forces me to do things I don't want to do. She only controls me. I tried my best to shake off the rage and thoughts.
It's alright. Everything is going to be alright. It's ok. I'm ok.
I let my mom know that I don't feel like eating breakfast and went back to my room. I locked the door as soon as I got in.
I need sometime for myself.
I lay on my bed with music blasting in my ears, blocking background noises. I took my phone, and decided to text the only person who understands me; Zoe.
Hey bestie!
Luckily, she was active, too. So, I didn't have to wait for long.
Hi stupid!
How are you?
A little smile appeared on my lips.
I'm ok. Thank you for asking. What about you?
I put my phone down and glared at the ceiling. I know she knows I'm lying to her. She's going to notice, as always. I don't feel like talking about it. I'm alright. I will be ok. To feel better, I decided to replay the last two days' events: the way she smiled at me, the way she talked, the way she dressed, the way she smiled at her phone, the way she gazed out the window...
I smiled hugely.
Yes, I am smiling..because of her. She makes me so happy.
A wave of sadness and hopelessness took ahold of me; I don't know what's wrong with me. I curled up under the sheets on the little couch I have in my room next to the window, and let tears drop from my eyes. They started streaming down my face as I held into a blanket and tried not to make a sound. I kept crying and crying until I stopped; probably because there were no tears left.
I stood up and went to the bathroom. I opened the faucet, washed my face, closed it, and then sat in the bath tub. I heard a voice, coming from inside me...
Open the cabinet...
Take...the...pills...
D...i...e...
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
DIE DIE DIE
DIE
The voice got louder and louder, I put my hands over my ears to cover them up; to not hear it. I never really get scared, but this terrified me. So, I ran to my room, and locked the door. I looked for my phone to find it still on my bed, and scrolled through my messages, my contacts, my Instagram followers... And suddenly, I wished she was there; I wished she was in my contacts, in my following list, in my Facebook friends' list... I just wished she was there to make me feel calm and steady.
YOU ARE READING
The light to my darkness
RandomRosangela, a teenager struggling with severe depression and anxiety issues finally starts to get better with the help of the person who changed her life overnight; mrs heavenly m, who is also her English teacher. (Made out of real life events)
