The light to my darkness

Chapter 13

A month later...

We're in the therapist's office. It took a while to get it since he wasn't here. He had work outside the states. I took that time to mentally prepare myself for this, and I think I'm ready now, but she has to be here. I still can't do it alone. It's almost time, and she's not here yet. I've been texting her for so long, but she won't answer.

Hey. Are you coming? ... Please, I need you. You promised you'll come... Please.

I waited for so long, feeling knots forming in my stomach. I don't know if she's coming. My heart is beating faster and faster by every second passing. My eye lids are turning heavy, my palms are sweating, and I can barely focus. 5 minutes left, and she still hasn't showed up or answered her phone. The hope I've been trying to hold on to is now disappearing.

NO. I refuse to give up.

I'm not going to give up.

I can't give up. She promised me.

She won't lie to me.

I kept praying she would come, but unfortunately, she didn't. I had to go in without her by my side. And once again, someone I loved to death let me down.

"Okay, let's get started. Hi, how are you doing today?" he seems pretty nice, but I'm too broken to act for him.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking"

"And your name is Roseangel-"

"It's Rose" I snap.

"Okay Rose. Why are you here today?"

"I don't know"

"What do you mean? You don't know why you're here today?"

"They made me come here"

"Who made you?"

"Someone who lied to me"

"Well, 'lied' isn't really the right word in this situation. They wanted you to come because they felt like something was off and they wouldn't even bother speaking up if they didn't care about you"

I want to believe his words so bad, but I can't. I buried them. I buried my feelings. All of them. In matter of seconds, everything changed. I don't hate her, I would never. I still love her more than anything, but I can't get over this. I just can't.

"But they still lied to me, and broke a promise"

"Maybe they have their own reasons"

"Yea, I don't really care"

He kept asking me questions. I didn't answer most of them which was either because I didn't want to or I didn't know the answer. The session was nice, but I was too damaged to really enjoy it. I needed to know what was wrong with her. So, I texted her.

You didn't come. You lied... You lied to me.

She didn't answer. So, I put my phone down and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. So I did what I had to do to feel better...