Back to You

Stay

As the morning sun shone through my window, it woke me up, but not refreshed and ready to face the day. I'd slept horribly most of the night, tossing and turning. Thinking about Conrad and the fact that he was just a few doors away from me.

It's silly, but sometimes I wonder if Susannah is my guardian angel. This definitely felt like her handiwork bringing Conrad and me back together at the place where we'd first begun our friendship.

I'd half expected Conrad to come and wake me up, but glancing over at the wall clock. I could see it was already 10 A.M.

My thoughts began to race. Would he have left without saying goodbye to me first? There was just no way I was going to believe that. But the house was awfully silent. Could he possibly still be asleep?

Fearing the worst but hoping for better, I hastily threw my hair up into a messy bun and headed for his room.

After three unanswered knocks on his door, I finally called out.

"Conrad, are you in there?" But with no response, I began to worry a little. He wasn't a light sleeper, but he wasn't a heavy one either.

Slowly I turned the knob of his bedroom door, acknowledging it would be an invasion of his privacy but doing it all the same.

"Conrad?" I called out as I glanced into his room—nothing but dead silence and no suitcase anywhere in sight. Conrad would have brought his suitcase up, unlike me. He had always been the orderly one. Cleaning up after everyone.

My anxiety was beginning to grow as I ran downstairs, hoping to find him on the couch watching TV or maybe down on the beach. I doubted he was surfing; the winter cold had really kicked it, and the water would be freezing cold, but maybe, I tried to convince myself, he was taking a walk.

A part of me was starting to dread what the real answer probably was. Conrad was gone, and he had left without even bothering to say goodbye.

 It was a thought that broke me a little. But I was determined to hold onto hope until I knew for sure. In my mind, only one thing could verify it. If his car were gone, I would have to admit to myself that so was he. Determined to know the truth, I rushed over to the front door, flung it open, and WHAM ran full force into him, crushing the box he was holding.

"Whoa, careful," he said as he grabbed onto to me to keep me from falling backward. I was so happy to see him that I flung my arms around him. "You're still here," I said, relief flooding my body.

Bemused Conrad came in and closed the door behind him. "Of course I am. Did you think I would leave without saying goodbye?"

"Where were you then?" I asked, my curiosity beginning to overshadow my previous concern.

Smiling sheepishly, Conrad handed me the now crushed box that he was holding. "Uh... I went to get you these."

"You got me the good muffins?" I asked, completely touched by his gesture.

"Well, they're not so good now," he replied.

He was right; they were a hot mess, thanks to me, but I didn't care as I impulsively kissed his cheek to show my thanks. It was a mixed message for sure, but it was also just me following a feeling. A growing, gnawing feeling that this man I'd waited my whole life for might have been worth the wait.

"I will eat every crumb," I promised him, and I meant it.

"I just thought it would be a nice parting gift. I remembered how much you liked them," He said, a blush rising to his cheeks. Conrad blushing like a schoolboy was a new thing for me, and I really liked it. This vulnerable Conrad was becoming my new favorite version of him.