The Rocky Road Pact

Chapter 11: Out of Touch

The Rocky Road Pact

We the undersigned agree to five (5) ice cream dates this summer in the time and manner of Cassie's choosing.

During these dates, we will have ice cream. That is the purpose of these dates. 

Ice cream and ice cream only.

Either party may refuse ice cream at any time if they don't feel like ice cream on that particular day for any reason, and the other party is not allowed to make them feel bad about it.

Neither party shall discuss these ice cream dates. With anyone!

At the end of the summer, both will part as friends. No relationship! No falling in love. PERIOD.

Either can break this pact at any time for any reason and no one is allowed to get butt hurt over it.

Signed:

Cassie Davies

Tommy Slade

There it was in black and cardboard: the whole sordid thing. 

I pieced the ripped pizza box back together and read it with horror. What a fool I'd made of myself!

Ugh, the idea of just dating someone just for sex over the summer. What kind of a girl was I, deep down, to come up with such an idea? 

But he signed it.

I looked at the black scribble of his signature. He signed it.

That must mean he likes me. Or finds me attractive at least. I smiled and sat down on the bed, thinking about Tommy's lean physique, deep, inquisitive eyes and mischievous smile. At least somebody does.

The purpose of the pact was stupid, I knew. Trying to get more experience to win Brandon back was a risky idea. Part of me knew the whole idea wasn't ever going to work. But if it did, maybe it would keep this awful, empty feeling away for a few weeks. Maybe it would heal the terrible pain I felt, knowing Brandon could just discard me like that after all that time together. Sure, I went on with things, but the hurt was still there, like a tight little ball in the pit of my stomach. I'd give anything to get rid of that feeling.

I had to get Brandon back. I just needed to find another way.

One thing was for sure — I thanked my lucky stars that drunk me ended up with Tommy that night and not with Bobby. I didn't have to worry about Tommy spreading around my drunken foolishness. He probably only signed the pact to get me the hell out of his house. I'd forget the whole thing and get on with my summer; find some other way to make Brandon see that we belonged together. 

I knew one thing; I could never look Tommy Slade in the face again. I had to avoid him for the rest of my life. It was the only way, either that or move away from this town forever, and I didn't have the money to do that yet. 

 In the following days, life got back on track more or less. I was starting my part time job soon, tutoring calculus over the summer, and I was on a dedicated campaign to get Brandon to at least return my phone calls.

I'd left three messages at his uncle's house, but so far he was completely ignoring me. The tight ball in the pit of my stomach grew.

I babysat for the Jenkins next door; the kids were cute and not too much of a hassle. They went to bed on time without much of a fuss, leaving me to eat as many popsicles as I wanted and watch horror movies from their extensive VHS collection.

Life sucked but you know, it went on.

Academically, I was in huge trouble. When I cancelled out of veterinary college, that meant I had no where to go in September when all my friends were off to college or university. 

With all of the deadlines passed, the most I could hope for was to get in somewhere in January. But the problem was, I didn't know what I wanted to do. My whole future was tied to Brandon's, we had a plan, dammit! Now I didn't know what I wanted, or what I was good at. 

Dad hassled me every day, asking me where I'd applied and it killed me to have to keep telling him "nowhere." Every time my mother looked at me, her lips would purse until they virtually disappeared into a thin line. I was a huge disappointment to my parents, that much was true. But I couldn't seem to shake off whatever fog I was in to try and find a path for myself. It all seemed hopeless.

Then one night, he called me back.

I was washing up the dishes when the phone rang. I grabbed it on the second ring, thinking it was Creegan.

"Hi," he said shyly.

I needed to sit down immediately before my knees buckled. I couldn't believe it was my Brandon; that he still existed somewhere; he'd manage to disappear so fully from my life. Flashbacks of our time together came and went, Polaroids of us together, hand in hand in the park, laughing ourselves sick at some stupid movie, kissing in his car at the edge of a cliff while the moonlight danced on the waves.

"How are you?"

"Good. And you?"

"Fine." Except I wasn't fine.

Silence.

All this time, I'd been dying to talk to him. Now, I didn't know what to say.

The moments stretched on.

"I'm sorry about—you know," he said, finally.

What happened? Why did you leave me? What about our plans? Why did you change your mind about me? Is there something about me so unlovable that you had to run to New Brunswick to get away from me? Is there another girl? Is that it, you two timing son of a bitch?

"That's ok," I said, meekly. 

More silence.

"Except," I ventured, trying to be brave. "I don't get it. Why did you end it, Brandon?"

There, it was out in the open. My stomach clenched in anticipation of the answer. 

Maybe I didn't want to know. 

He sighed. "Cassie, you're a great girl. But I see you more as a friend than...you know. I'm moving on and you should too. Look, the real reason I called was to tell you to stop calling the house; my uncle and aunt are getting mad. I'm seeing someone now and I'm very happy. So, there's no need to talk anymore. OK? I'm sorry."

With that he hung up. 

I didn't think I could feel any worse than the day he left, but I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong.