I Can Hear Your Heart (A Heartstopper FanFic -- BOOK 1)

5. Away

Charlie had no memory of what time he had finally dozed off to sleep last night. He and Nick had stayed up well into the early hours of the morning, talking and distracting, distracting and talking.

Nick didn't know what time Charlie had fallen asleep but he did remember lying awake, watching him breathe through the screen until he supposed he must have fallen asleep too.

When Charlie woke up the next morning, he felt impossibly lighter.

He made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Thankfully, no one else was awake yet. He sneaked his phone back into the spot on the counter his mum had left it yesterday.

Just as Charlie plugged the phone into it's charger, he heard a cough from the kitchen door.

He looked up in fright to see his dad standing there, watching him, a smirk on his sleepy face.

"It needed charging," said Charlie.

"I didn't see anything," said Julio. He switched on the radio for some background noise, just like he usually did. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Oh, um... just some toast, please?"

"Toast it is. Coming right up!"

Charlie slid himself onto a stool at the breakfast bar and watched as his dad pottered about.

Soon, a mug of tea and two slices of honey toast were pushed in front of him and Charlie found himself eating them without hesitation.

Julio leaned against the counter across from him, drinking his own tea.

"They're having a memorial service for Matt and Bethany this afternoon at one. At St Mary's church."

"Oh," said Charlie.

"I said you didn't have to go unless you wanted to, but your mum seems to think it's necessary that we all go."

Charlie sighed. "No. It's fine. I actually think I want to go. Matt was never exactly nice to me, and I didn't know Bethany at all but -- I think I'd like to go and pay my respects."

And it was a chance to get out of the house, he thought selfishly. And there was a high chance that Nick would be there. If Charlie didn't go then he wouldn't see Nick in person again until tomorrow, and while last night had soothed his worries considerably, it had also reinforced his yearning.

"You do know your mum is only doing what she thinks is best for you, don't you?" Julio asked. "She does everything for you kids, often at great personal expense."

"I know that, dad."

"And I know you get frustrated at her sometimes, I know you do. I understand that. I've been married to her for seventeen years. Trust me, I am aware of her flaws. But I love her because of them, not despite them. It might be nice if you tried to do the same for her, Charlie."

I wish she'd love me because of my flaws and not despite them, Charlie thought bitterly.

But something else Julio had said struck against something Charlie had been turning over in his mind for a while now.

"Dad? Could I ask you something?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"How... how did you know that mum was... the one?"

Julio chuckled. "I think I just knew. It's a pain. A good pain. Right here in your belly."

"Are you sure that wasn't just mum's cooking?"

"Charlie," his dad laughed. "Love equals sacrifice."

Charlie smiled with him, but his eyes must have glazed over for a moment, deep in thought, because then Julio said cautiously, "Have you ever felt that pain before?"