What would you do?

Forever is too good to be true.

Chapter 4

"Are you depressed"my therapist asks."Well obviously yes or I wouldn't be here" I retorted back at her. She didn't seem fazed at all. But she wouldn't be fazed, she deals with people like me all the time.  "What makes you feel like this," she asks. I just look up and stare at her she should know out of all people I can't just explain why I am depressed. It's impossible to just say why you are depressed, there are so many things that just build up and you can't pin point one reason why you are depressed. "Let me reword this, try to explain what makes you feel this way because I can not help you unless you tell me why you feel like this. I take a deep breath. "I guess so much stuff has happened to me and things finally started get better and then all the sudden I get cancer. And I know that I am hurting people, the people who care about me and I can't do anything about it. And sometimes I am both happy and sad at the same time and i am trying to figure out how that's possible." I say. After I say this i feel a little weight come off my chest. Not a big weight, no barely anything but enough to feel a little better. "It is very possible you are grateful for the people who care about you but who are also sad that you are hurting them. But it is okay to feel this way, it is very normal actually." Yep, She got it spot on that is exactly how i feel. But something that she said got me attention."You didn't deny it." I say to her. She looks at me confused. "You didn't deny that I was hurting them."I am not going to lie to you of course you are hurting them," my heart sank a little. "But you are hurting them because they care about you. But just because you are hurting them does not mean that they are going to stop loving you." She finished. I know she is right but it still kills me every time I think how I am hurting the people that love me. The people that have been there for me though my worst. I am so lucky to have those people, some people don't have people who care for them and always have been there, at least I do. I always thought I would have them forever. I use to believe in forever but forever is too good to be true.