What would you do?

Wake up

Chapter 7

I feel something shaking me. "Amanda wake up sweetie." I slowly open my eyes. Bright light from the sun streams in through the curtains. I look at my mom who was leaning over my bed. She sees that I am awake. "We have to go to the hospital in a hour and I wanted to get you up. I nodded my head and she leaves the room. I get up and walk over to the bathroom. I feel terrible I thought about last night and look over to the pill container that was sitting on the container almost all gone. I wonder how many pills I took last night and how I could possibly be alive. I feel dizzy and walk over to the toilet and throw up. My insides were killing me and I had a pounding headache. What a great way to start a monday morning. But its not like mondays can be fun anyway. I grab the rag and wet it with cold water then rub it on my face. It only woke me up a little, but it helped. I walk out of the bathroom and go downstairs. On the table was one of my favorite foods of all time. Coffee cake with bacon and orange juice. I sit down and start to eat. I must have been eating rather fast, because my brother was looking over at me funny. I looked like a hadn't eaten in 100 years. He got up grabbed his keys. "I am going to school," he said then he mumbled "I'm already late anyway why should i go?" I don't think he meant for me to hear but I did. I put my plates in the dishwasher and go upstairs and crawl into bed. I wish I could just sleep all day. I did not want to go to the doctor. The doctor was no fun and it was very tiring. I definitely was not up to but its not like I had a choice it. I get out of bed and walk to my closet. I grab a pair of sweatpants and a baggy shirt that said my school's name on it. I didn't care what i looked like; I am only going to the doctor. I walk to the bathroom and brush my hair out and throw it up in a bun. I am ready to go but I had 10 minutes. I grab my phone and look at it. I got a text from brad it said "are you coming to school?" I sighed and thought to myself I wish I was. I honestly miss school, but I definitely don't miss all the snobby girls but I do miss my friends. I walk downstairs, my mom is waiting down there. "Ready to go" she asks. I nod and say "Yes," I walk out the door and get in the car. She gets in the car and starts the motor. I turn on the radio and crank it up and close my eyes. We get there in no time. We live close to the hospital, which is a good thing since I go there so often. I hop out of the car and we walk in my mom signed me in. The doctor then takes me to my room. I hop up on the bed and wait for the doctor to come. A nurse steps in and says he will be in a moment he is running a little late. I roll my eyes when a nurse comes to tell you that the doctor will be a little late it means that he will be really late. I look at the clock. It is 9:00 in the morning. I close my eyes and turn over on the bed and go to sleep. A knock on the door wakes me up and I sit up. I look over at the clock it was 9:45. I smirked and said "Could have taken a longer, couldn't it." Doctor Randall looked at me and said "Yes you are right Miss Amanda it could have." I roll my eyes and cross my arms. Typical teenage defense behavior I know but it seems to work well. "How have you been feeling since the last time I saw you?" "I am fine, I don't feel different." I say. "What is your pain level right now?" He ask. "4" I say and start to bite my nails. I tend to do that when I lie or I am nervous but he doesn't seem to notice. I actually am in a lot of pain but I don't want to take more medicine so I don't say anything. He does a few tests and leaves and says he will be right back. I am so tired I lean back in my chair and go to sleep. I dream about doctor randall and that he turned into a murder. He ended up almost murdering me, but a knock on my door woke me up right before he did. I see Doctor Randall walk in maybe I have been watching a little too much american horror story. I laugh to myself; thats impossible. "Sorry I took so long" I look up at the clock and it was 11:00. I hear my stomach growl, I am really hungry and very tired and i wanna go home. Sometimes I am so complaining I think to myself, I really need to stop. Wanna know what else i need to stop, having conversations in my head. "You can go now, I gave your mom a couple new medicines to try out and the schedule for them and if you have more pain please call because i need to know. It could mean that the cancer is getting worse." The doctor said. I nod my head but my stomach drops to the floor. It could mean that my cancer is getting worse. I was in more pain and I didn't tell him. Should I tell him now? Well it was too late now I was already walking out with my mom to the car.

My mom and I stopped at chick-fil-la for lunch. When we got home, I started to walk upstairs but my mom stopped me with something that she said "You are going to go to school tomorrow." She had a stern sound in his voice. I look at her and shake my head "No I am too tired to go to school and I dont want to have to see everybody and get all this sympathy I am just not up to it Mom, Please don't make me go to school!" I plead. But she is stubborn on her point "Amanda you are going to school tomorrow and that is that." I turn away and run up stairs to my bed and jump on and start to cry. I dont want to have to see Courtney's face. The last I saw her I stood up for myself but now she is mad and I dont want to know all the things she has said about me at school. I start to cry harder and muffle my face in my pillow. I fall asleep crying. It seems like I have been doing that more often. I wake up at dinner time. "Mom, I am not hungry." I say to her. "Sweetheart you have to eat you need nutrition or you will get even more sick." I sit down and reluctantly eat. We were having my favorite, mac and cheese. I knew my mom purposely made this for me. "Thank you for dinner mama, it's really good!" I say she smiles and says "Of course darling" I smile at her. I am sometimes too hard on my mom I know that she is just trying to do the best for me and I am not thankful enough for her. I dont know what I would do without her. I get up and bring my plate to the sink and walk up to my room. I close the door and grab my backpack. I check to see what I need to do for homework that I was putting off. I grab my math book and sit on my bed and start it. I know I won't get in trouble but I honestly don't want to get behind in school. It will just make things harder on me. Seeing as I don't make very good grades either. I grab my math books and start my homework. I put in my earbuds and let my music relax me as I did my homework. My phone starts to ring I look at it, it is Brad. I take out my ear buds and answer the phone "Hi, baby" I say to him. "Hi, Miss Amanda" he called me that sometimes. It was weird but also cute I like the way he says that with his rough but nice flirty voice. I grin in the phone and I guess he could tell, "Are you going to school tomorrow?" He says with a tone of excitement in his voice. "Ya." I mumble. "Dont worry baby, it won't be bad i will be there it will be fun! I miss you in french it is boring not being able to talk and ignore Mme Carroll." I laugh. "Okay I guess it won't be that bad... I just don't want sympathy and since Courtney knows and I am mad at her I am positive absolutely everyone knows at the school." I hear a pause like a breath in the phone. Like he was going to tell me something but he didn't. What is he hiding from me I think to myself. "What?" I say. "Nothing baby, I have to go. Love you, Bye" He says. I say bye but before I could even finish he has hung up the phone. Something was wrong but I am too tired to worry about i finish the homework I could and then but my books away. I get up and walk over to my closet and grab an oversize shirt that I always sleep in and put it on. I climb under the bed cover and snuggle down. I look over at the clock it was only 9:30. I normally go to bed around 11:30 but I was tired and I needed sleep for school tomorow.