What would you do?

Ethics

Chapter 13

I sit at my computer and stare at the blank screen, I have been struggling with the paper for ethics. It is about the biggest struggle in my life and how I coped with it. Well obviously everyone thinks I am going to write about having cancer. But I don't to write about having cancer, I take a deep breathe and put my hands on the keys. I close my eyes and think, I open them, I know what I am going to write. I start to type, words flow off my fingers and onto the keys. It seemed like in no time I had my paper written. I close my laptop and put it away. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth then go back into my bedroom and climb into my bed and pull the sheets up. I am so tired, I have not been getting good sleep lately. I have been having the same nightmare over and over again, it's about my dad. We are in the grocery store getting all the groceries, we were in the ice cream section. It was a day before my birthday and my dad was treating me to some ice cream then a man walks up his face look like a monster but his body completely normal. He held up a gun to the woman next to us head saying that she give him all the money in her purse. My dad all the sudden moves and tries to punch the guy but before he can he turns to us but before he can shoot anybody I wake up. But the thing is the man was not going shoot my dad in the dream he was going to shoot me. I know this because right before I wake up is see his eyes stare right into mine. They are an icy blue but they are not warm and inviting the just look empty. Like someone had taken all the emotion out of him; just sucked it right out. They had replaced it with nothing. An empty void of nothing, he had nothing to lose so he just killed. But that's not what really happened when my dad died although I wish it was . I wish that man would have shot me inside of my dad. But that is not what happened, maybe I just can't accept that yet but I guess I have to. I close my eyes, maybe tonight will be different.

"Amanda!" I hear someone yell my name. I slightly open my eyes but immediately close them when light streams in almost blinding me. "You slept in late you have to get up or you will be late." my mom yells at me. This time I completely open my eyes and look over at my clock. I have 30 minutes to be at school, I only live about 5 minutes away so I know I wont be late. I throw my covers off of me and run into my closet. And grab my jeans and throw them on and a t-shirt. I run into the bathroom and put my hair in a ponytail. I look at my watch I don't have time to put on makeup. I grab my mascara and put some on that way I won't look dead. Then I grab my backpack and laptop and walk over to the printer and grab my paper. I had printed it last night since we have Ethics today and we have to present. I walk into the kitchen and grab an apple. I hear a honk outside I run out and hop into Callie's car. She looks over at me, "Wow you look like shit." I look over at her "Thanks, you really know what to say." She laughs and turns up the music as we drive to school. We get to school, I have Ethics first today. I get out of the car and go to my locker to put some of my books away. Standing by my locker is Evan. I walk up to my locker "Hey!" I say to him. He looks at me, he looks mad. "Why did you tell your asshole boyfriend that we hooked up" Evan said really loud. Some people in the hallway looked at us. "I didn't tell him that, told him that we were friends, I swear to god I never said that. I don't know why Brad told you that." Evan sighs and walks away. "Wait, Evan!" I call out after him but he keeps on walking. Why the hell would Brad tell Evan that, I knew that he could jealous but not this jealous. He was just trying to make Evan mad at me. I walk into Ethics Brad was sitting down, he saw me and smiled as he waved me over. I did not smile back at him, I walk up to him and say "Why did you tell Evan that we hooked up?" Brad all the suddens get really red in the face but then said "I never said the Amanda, that little shit head just wans you mad at me that way he can hook up with you." I can feel my blood boil, why did he call Evan a little shit head when he is the one who lied. I know Brad really well and I know when he is lying. "Don't call him that Brad, I know you are lying." "What the hell Amanda, why are you defending him, I have always been there for you and know you are defending him, maybe y'all actually did hook up" he said sitting down. "HA!" you just admit you made it up!" He just shakes his head and mutters "Whatever." I walk away from Brad over to Evan. "Do you believe me now?" He nods his head with a small smile on his face. "Can I sit?" I asked him. He nods his head again and moves his books out of the way. I sit next to him and open my binder. I grab my report and start to go over it again. I am so scared for presenting today maybe we will run out of time and I won't have to present. I am normally the last one to go since my last name is Young. Mr. Brandon walks into the room and puts his books on his desk right as the bell rings. "So today we will presenting our papers. We are gonna go in alphabetical order by last names only we are gonna start at the bottom of the list so let's see who is first.. Amanda." he says as he looks at me. "You are up."