Tattooed Scars

Chapter 15

Felix's POV
"So you really do block that out?"

"Yeah. Can we talk about this later?"

"Oh fuck. Yeah sure."

We finished packing some things up. My mom walked up to us. She had tears in her eyes.

"I'm proud of you. I was so cruel to you and...you didn't end up somewhere horrible."

"Uh thanks?"

She turned to Mariposa.

"Please take care of him. I fucked that up."

We brought the boxes to my car and put them in. I didn't say anything to anyone the whole drive back to Mariposa's house. We went and got a key for her house made for me. We got back to her house and started bringing everything in.

"Are you okay?"

"Nope. I'm so tempted to just scream."

"Then do it."

I shook my head.

"I can't."

I started hugging her.

"It's okay."

"She really fucked me up."

"Do it."

"Huh?"

"Cry."

I shook my head. I started hugging her tighter.

"I'm so sorry, you got hurt."

"It's okay. I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt. Hey look at me."

She cupped my face.

"It's okay."

I started looking at the cut on her cheek.

"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt."

"It's my fault, you got hurt."

"No no. I protected you. It's okay. It's just a little cut. Go relax. Do you want to be left alone?"

"No. God no. Don't leave me alone."

"Alright. I won't. How do you want to relax? Do you shower to calm down? That's what I do."

"I-I do that too."

"Do you have a bathtub? We could chill in there for a bit."

"No. I like showering better. You can't hear me crying that way."

"Lixie.."

I walked away. I walked up to my room and grabbed clothes. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower. I took my clothes off then got in the shower. I didn't wait for it to heat up. I sat down in the corner then, I broke. I started crying. The shower door opened. Mariposa poked her head in.

"Baby....I'm coming in."

I shook my head.

"It's too cold."

"Why are you in here then? You're gonna turn blue."

I shrugged.

"Come here. You're already shivering."

The water started to heat up.

"It's fine. It's heating up."

She left the shower door open and sat down next to it. She started rubbing one of my legs.

"Can you at least, tell me one thing?"

I sniffled.

"She'd spend hours yelling at me. She'd tell me how, I'm worthless. She'd tell me, I was unlovable."

"And you believed her?"

"Yeah. I know, I'm not worthless. Being unlovable...is something else, I gotta get over. I used to want to die."

"Yo-you did?"

"Yeah. I saw it..as a way of escaping from everything. All that stopped when...Kat was born. I'm honestly, alive because of her."

"Felix...that's why...you keep to yourself?"

I nodded.

"My parents kept telling me and Skyler, if we told anyone, they'd kill us. So to avoid that...I shut everyone out. I stopped talking at school. I was just...hurting. Skyler thinks they won't kill us now but..."

"You're still scared."

"Yeah."

After that, we just sat there for a while. We didn't talk. When I was done, I turned off the water. I got out of the shower and got dressed.