reputation // jeon jungkook ✔️

chapter thirty-two

november

shin minseo

"oldest to youngest, so jin, tell us what you're thankful for." namjoon smiles.

"i'm thankful for all of you guys, for juno, for min, for our fans. i'm thankful for this bus, this food..." everyone laughs. "and most importantly, thankful for my handsome face." he whips out his phone camera and blows a kiss to himself causing half the group to roll their eyes.

"okay i'll save everyone from this." yoongi buds in. "i'm thankful for my best friend jimin, for the rest of you guys i guess..." he says earning some offended 'heys' from the group. "i'm thankful for my piano, and yeah, i'm thankful for the food too." he finishes and takes a big bite out of his bread.

"well i'm thankful for our fans, my dancing skills, and all of you guys." hoseok says with his signature smile.

"i'm thankful for our fans, everyone's hard work, my bicycle, and art." namjoon nods his head in confirmation.

"i'm thankful for minseo, and her insane professionalism, and skills of course. i'm thankful for our fans, and our brave leader namjoon. of course i'm thankful for my best friend yoongi. and i'm thankful that jungkook hasn't knocked me out again." jimin glares at jungkook. everyone laughs and jungkooks face turns bright red.

"i'm thankful for literally everything, and the friendship that minseo and i have made over the past year." taehyung smiles at me, i return his smile.

"i'm thankful that i ever got to courage to walk into minseo's hair salon." jungkook starts, the small chatter around the table grows silent. "i'm thankful that she let me into her life, even though i was gonna push myself into it anyways." everyone laughs. "i'm honestly thankful that jimin broke her heart." everyone shares awkward glances. "i'm thankful that she would walk into a burning building with me if i asked her to. i'm thankful for the risks we took together, the school, my audition." i don't notice it but tears fill my eyes as jungkook brings up our fondest memories. "i'm thankful that no matter how bad i've hurt her, shes been able to get back up on her feet and come back stronger."

at this point, everyone is looking at jungkook and i, him staring deeply into my eyes as he fills my ears with these bittersweet moments. me, staring blankly back at him with tears welling up in my eyes.

"min, i can't thank you enough..." he finishes as a tear rolls down my cheek. i notice and try to wipe it before anyone saw it, but they were already staring.

"um... minseo what are you thankful for..." namjoon tries to lighten the mood. jungkook and i still holding eye contact. namjoon clears his throat. i stand up.

"excuse me." i say, and quickly walk away from the table and run to my room. i heard footsteps following me, but i couldn't bring myself to look back. surely enough there was knocking on my door. i open the door without looking, already having a pretty strong idea of who it was.

"i didn't mean to upset you." he says.

"it was just a lot at once, jungkook." i admit, still not looking at him.

"but they're happy memories." i hear him smile.

"from when we were together." i respond. he walks closer to me and i feel the heat of his body behind mine. his arms gently snake around my waist and his chin rests on my head.

"it doesn't have to be past tense anymore." he says. for a moment i relax under his touch. we stay that way for a while, as i lean further onto him. eventually, i pull away.

"i can't. you know what happened when i took jimin back."

"i'm nothing like jimin, you said it yourself." he frowns.

"i'm not so sure of that anymore. replace sojee with career and you did the same thing." he sighs. "i guess i just don't get your sudden change of heart." i add.

"just being with you these last few months and watching you put your feelings aside for your job. it reminds me of when we met, and i keep thinking about how stupid i was to hurt you like that."

"it was stupid." i tell him. "but i've forgiven you."

"but you wont take me back?" he asks.

"what would that say about me if i did?" he shrugs at me. "i found out last month what people really think of me, and maybe they're right."

"that's not true, min you know-"

"no, maybe they are right. if i go back to you now, people will start to think i'm using you. they already think that you have something to do with this job, not to mention you actually playing a huge part in my school. my reputation is already in the ground, i'm not going any lower."

"you say that a lot." he clenches his jaw.

"what?"

"your 'reputation'." he finger quotes.

"so?"

"so why do you care so much?"

"my reputation is my career, if people don't like me, i wont be successful." i shrug at him.

"min, people who refuse to support you because of your personal love life, don't deserve you anyways." he lightly grabs my shoulder.

"it's not even just that..." i trail off. "i wouldn't be happy with myself if i took you back, i told myself i wasn't doing it again."

"but min..." he steps closer to me and grabs my chin. "if you feel it in your heart, that it's right to stay away from me, then you wouldn't let me do this." his free hand pulls me against him, other hand still holding my chin. he looks into my eyes, then down to my lips. i allow my gaze to fall to his lips as well. they quickly form a smirk as he notices me looking at them. i look back up to meet his eyes. his hand lightly tugs my chin forward and within a second, our lips are molding together.

as soon as the kiss started, it ended. as he pulled away, i mindlessly leaned in for more, instantly backing away once i realized. he looks at me with an unreadable expression and a light glow of red on his cheeks. the hand that was once on my chin has fallen to my chest.

"beating just as fast as it was before." he says. "you can tell me all you want how much you can't be with me again, but just know that your heart will always say otherwise." and with that, he walks out of the room. leaving me breathing slightly heavily, and of course, conflicted feelings. this man will be the death of me.