Until You

Chapter One

Chapter One

I woke up in my bed. I didn't want to get up, I had a headache from last night. I can't believe that I have to go to school today. It's July. I mean I understand that I signed up for college courses this summer but I kinda regret it. I got up and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. I put on my shoes and walked back into the bathroom and started doing my hair. I finished straightening my hair and I walked downstairs.
I went into the kitchen and heard my parents fighting. They always fought.
"Christian you always do this shit. Why can't you just stop drinking. It isn't that hard you fucker."
"Sarah, stop being such a bitch. Let me be. I'll have you know that you are being maintained by me. I am the one with the job and pay the bills."
"What the fuck do you mean. I have a job too. I work and bring money in. You need to man the fuck up and do something with yourself."
I walked in and they completely ignored me. I didn't care about them fighting anymore. I usually just listen to music so I don't have to hear their yelling. I decided to skip breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to hear them argue. I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door. I was walking to school because I didn't feel like being around my mom.

I reached school and I went to hangout with my friends in our usual spot. As always my friend Julie was there early. She was sitting at our table looking at her phone. I walked up to her.
"Hey Julie"
"Hi Katelyn." We were talking when our friend Isaiah came up to us.
"Hi Isaiah" we both said
"Hey guys"
The three of us started talking and I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't speaking as much. Our friend Rose came up to us and we talked for a while until class started. They all left except Rose. She has the same first period as me. We walked into class and we sat down. We sat next to each other and always worked together. We started working together and I started feeling even worse. My face kept heating up but when I asked Rose to check my forehead she said it was normal. I started feeling dizzy and the room was spinning. My head was pounding but I pretended I was okay. I didn't want them to know something was wrong. I mean that's what happens when you starve yourself.
Soon enough we started packing up to go to our next class. Rose has that class with me too so we walked together. I mean we all have the same classes. It's summer courses so they only have so many teachers. We walked in and got our stuff out. We started doing our writing assignment when I was called out of class.
"Miss Park."
I walked up to the teacher's desk and saw the lady standing there.
"Hello follow me"
I followed her. She took me into her office and she started asking me questions about my personal life. I answered truthfully just excluding the part of my parents fighting constantly. She then spoke out and these words scared the living shit out of me.
"I actually called you here because someone reported to me and said they saw scars on your arm. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and if it was true."
"No it's not true I don't do that. I'm fine just been stressed about studying lately. Trying to get good grades and applying to college."
"Well would you mind showing me your arm?"
I started panicking because what if she saw. I do self harm but I only do it on my thighs now. And when I do it on my arms it's always in my upper inner arm.
"Yeah that's fine."
I slowly rolled up my sleeves making sure they didn't go past my elbow. I was shaking hoping that she couldn't see the faint scars.
"Well, it looks like you were telling the truth. I'm sorry for wasting your time. You may go back to class now. If you ever feel like that, you can come talk to me. This is a safe space and we want you to feel safe."
I walked out of the class and started shaking. Why did someone say something? And who said it. I need answers because not even my friends know what I do, I just tell them I get cold easily and they seem to believe it. They assume that I'm happy since I'm able to hide my feelings easily. I don't think I would ever be able to tell them about it because they would overreact and try to get me help but I'm fine. I don't need help.
    I walked to my next class as I had it right after this one. It's on the other side of the small campus so I decided it would've been a good class to take since it was closer than the other one I had the choice to take. I hate that I get so tired from walking for just 10 minutes. I know that this is bad for me but I just want to be pretty. Growing up chubby took a toll on the way I perceive myself and it made me crazy wanting to be beautiful for once but anything I do doesn't satisfy me.

    I finished my classes and I headed home. I decided to pick up some new blades since mine were dull. I know that I shouldn't keep buying them if I want to stop but I can't help myself. It feels good to keep hurting myself, the way that my skin gets tainted and scars, it's almost addictive and beautiful to me.

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Authors note:
Hiiiii! it's my first story that i'm publishing it so i'm very nervous about how it's going to go
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