《Ｌｏｖｅ Ｔｈｅｓｅ Ｄａｙｓ》

14. Path. Knot. Dilemma.

I suppose the most common feeling in the world for us humans, is the feeling that we are alone even in a crowded room. Everyone has experienced that more than once in their lives, but still, while you're going through it, it feels like no one will ever understand. No one knows what you're experiencing, they don't know your heart or your brain. They will never understand.

But I believe it is also very easy to forget how that lonesome felt once you're out of it. When the good times come, it's like you don't remember who you were when you were standing alone at the corner of a party, or when you were having dinner with loved ones and no one asked you a single question, or when your friends are too busy being happy to notice how far you are from it.

The wall between Luke and I stood tall and strong now, every delusional fantasy I had of him suddenly realizing I was all he wanted and leaving everything behind to be with me was long gone, buried in my soul. But, as I got drunk with sadness, my friends were living in a thrilling daydream I could only write about as an idea.

Alex and Leela had difficult days at the beginning because, as it was expected, he wasn't completely over Nicole yet. But he took a wise decision and chose not to play with Leela's heart, so he left until he was sure of what he wanted. What was only a couple of weeks for him, felt like ages for her, and she waited and waited for his return. In her heart, she waited until she could be enough for him. He had a moment of realization one day and he spoke to me.

"I want to be with Leela, but I feel like Nicole needs me right now, she needs my help" he looked disturbed and exhausted.

"I think she only wants your attention," I said harshly, "she clearly didn't give a shit about what you said" he had explained carefully that he couldn't be with her anymore because he could feel she didn't want to take the next step with him and she was probably going to hide him forever. "If she cared about your feelings she would just leave you alone, she knows she's hurting you but isn't fazed by it."

There was one more thing about Nicole that kept Alex up at night: he found her at home with her ex.

"Yeah, but know I understand her from a different perspective. When her ex showed up at her place asking her for help, I wanted to kill him. But now I'm in her shoes and I understand why she couldn't say no" he excused her.

"I get it, but still, don't put yourself in her shoes, but Leela's. Imagine how she would feel. Do you think anyone could be at peace knowing that their significant other will run back to their ex any minute just because they need them?" I further explained. "If you get back with Leela, you need to give her her place."

"I'm fully aware of that."

Alex was my friend and I loved him, but he was a textbook hypocrite. He cheated on Nicole first, but made a fuss of her still being in touch with her ex. It truly amazed me how he could be so disturbed and heartbroken about what she did but not remember his own wrong doings. I was completely sure he wasn't mean, but delusional.

My fears of Leela suffering by his hands became a reality in no time, but I was sure we were just scratching the surface. There was still so much more pain to unveil. She spent days being quiet, feeling low and disappointed about how this time was no different from the other times she had been close to feeling love. She regretted not running before all of this happened, like she always did.

The day Alex called her was the day her eyes shone again, all it took was a simple phrase for him to bring her back to life.

"I want to be with you" he said.

Leela's head was a mess for days, Alex confused her with every word he said. His first excuse was that they were going too fast, then he said that Nicole was still reaching out to him, and when Leela questioned what she was in his life, he simply responded "I don't know."