《Ｌｏｖｅ Ｔｈｅｓｅ Ｄａｙｓ》

18. The house of cards

I was in my bedroom waiting for Alex to come home, we agreed to have coffee before class because we had so much to catch up with. When he arrived, I prepared everything and closed the door behind us. I told him about my feelings for Oliver and he had exactly the same reaction as Leela.

"I can understand how it happened," he said after I finished my explanation, "I don't see it, but I can understand."

"I'm waiting for the perfect moment to tell Darcy" I said.

"There's no perfect moment, just say it."

I noticed his mood was low that afternoon and got concerned about it. "What about you?" I asked, finishing the Oliver topic. "What's going on in that mind of yours?"

He took a deep breath and tried to find the courage to speak in the bottom of his heart while glancing at his lap in fear. "I feel fine. I really feel fine. But..."

"Something is off?" I completed.

I grinned and looked up. "I don't feel like myself right now."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know," he seemed really desperate, "that's the worst part. I have no idea why. All I know is that the only person who made me feel like myself was..." I sighed in anticipation of his obvious answer, "...Nicole."

"This is horrible, what you're saying, but who am I to blame you?" I tried to empathize. "I am no one to speak of making the wise decision. I clearly never do it."

He laughed softly and, when I looked into his eyes, tears started to fall from them. "I adore Leela, I swear I do. I really like being with her." My heart broke with every word he said, just imagining how my friend would feel if she heard all this. "But I love Nicole."

Tears threatened to leave my eyes too as a lump in my throat appeared, these were horrible news to me. "Leela doesn't deserve this, Alex" I sighed, "you need to talk to her and tell her the truth. Please, I don't want her to suffer." He could sense the desperation in my voice.

As if I wasn't carrying enough weight on my conscience already, now I was carrying this. I knew that one of my best friends was being lied to and used, but once again, Alex was also one of my best friends. I was caught in the middle, in the worst possible scenario. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to protect?

After we finished talking, we agreed that I was going to wait and stay quiet and Alex was going to talk to Leela as soon as exams were over. He promised.

I texted Darcy as soon as I could. "I need to talk to you", I simply said.

For days I meditated and planned carefully how I was going to say it to her. One afternoon she came home, we had snacks and watched football, then, on the way to the bus stop, I took the chance and started speaking as we walked.

"I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now" I shyly said.

"I know," she said calmly, "I was waiting for you to speak since you sent me that text, but since you weren't starting any conversations I just let it go. I figured you would talk to me when you were ready."

"I appreciate that," I said. I took a deep breath and began, "something's been happening to me, for a while now. I've gotten... confused."

"Confused..." she repeated.

"With someone."

She chuckled at my nervousness, she was clearly having fun with my suffering. It seemed as if she knew what I wanted to say, but wanted me to say it.

Finally, I gave up and sighed. "With Oliver."

She started laughing shamelessly, "I knew it!" she said. I started laughing too, but nervously. She wasn't mad? "I know you so I noticed easily. I don't understand why you were so scared to tell me, I'm not mad. I don't care!"