《Ｌｏｖｅ Ｔｈｅｓｅ Ｄａｙｓ》

8. Dog days

The holidays flew past us like a dry leaf in the wind, next thing we knew it was summer. The girls and I received the New Year together and I raised my glass up high thanking the universe for my sisters. It had been a while since I felt so overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude.

The boys celebrated with us in the distance since they were at home with their families, some even in other cities. I put on a red dress, some golden glitter in my eyes and I danced the night away. Something deep inside me told me that this year was going to be one for the books, and here I am, writing one.

After a well-celebrated, filled with alcohol New Year's party, Luke had fallen in bed sick. His health wasn't normally the firmest, but this time he had pushed his own limits. Every night he woke up in cold sweat, fever not letting him sleep; he couldn't even speak without coughing. I made sure to check on him regularly.

One night I went out for a walk, it was January 3rd, if I remember correctly. But, how could I forget. The night was starry and the moon was thin as an eyelash, so pretty to watch. I didn't want to go home so I asked if anyone was up, it was very late but, as I expected, Luke was. I walked to his house, he lived pretty near me, and he came out to sit with me in the sidewalk. I offered him a snack that seemed to bring some life to his pale and tired expression, like never before.

"How bad has it been?" I asked.

He smirked weakly and looked down at the floor, "Very bad."

I had decided that, even if nothing romantic happened between Luke and me, I would still try to be his friend. We were part of the same circle, we cared about each other deeply, even if we struggled to communicate it.

"Tell me about New Year's party, how was it?" I inquired with a smile, eager to hear him speak.

He smiled as he remembered, "it was pretty good, although music was shit" he concluded.

I laughed, "We walked past that place on our way to our party and they were playing techno?!" I questioned, complaining.

He laughed too and then he started coughing, I felt bad immediately. "Sorry babe, take it easy."

He looked down with a shy smirk, like he always did whenever I called him babe, or love, or honey, or anything that wasn't dude.

"The next day I woke up sick, I didn't get a minute to let it sink in, first thing I did in the morning was throw up" he complained to me.

He seriously looked exhausted, I could tell he wasn't sleeping. He had always had problems with his liver so I would usually carry a tea bag in my backpack for when he felt sick, but I didn't have any this time and I knew he wouldn't go to the kitchen and make himself one.

"You really need to see a doctor and have yourself checked," I complained, "it's not normal for you to feel this bad, I'm worried" I finally confessed.

He looked down one more time and was about to say something, but I interrupted instead, "if you don't go by yourself I swear I'll drag you there!" I joked.

He chuckled softly, not wanting to laugh and cough. Then, he looked at me in the eye.

"I haven't been able to sleep this days" he said.

"I can tell" I answered.

Something awakens inside me when I start falling in love that makes me want to take care of the one I love like their life means significantly more than mine, not in a calm, tea-making, head-patting way, but in a deeper, more intense type of way. Looking at Luke like that, I only wanted to put him in a safety box and keep him close to my chest, guarded. But this feeling with Luke was different than any other I had before, I wasn't enjoying feeling needed by him because he didn't, he could very much take care of himself and he let me know that in many ways, he didn't need me to make tea for him or to pat his head lovingly, but I still wanted to do it. It was love in its purest form.