Midnight

Chapter Thirty-Three

The tick of the clock marked one more passing second. Sasuke was awake for a half hour, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He had spent the last two days with Naruto, who seemed determined to occupy his house. After the first night of his arrival, the blonde as much as he himself, was wasted to the point, they both black out to his living room. The next day was lazy, they stayed silent for the most part, each lost in thoughts never spoken aloud. That evening Naruto asked and Sasuke answered truthfully. She will never see you the way you see her. The ever smiling face clouded, yet he said nothing more. He drifted to sleep to his couch and he let him be. When he woke the next day, his best friend was already on his feet. Nothing on his features gave away the last sorrowful expression he had. He dragged him around for training, then lunch, then more training until afternoon came and it was time for Sasuke to ask. What are you going to do? He said and Naruto looked at him determined. Strive forward. He told him and raised his fist. What does that even mean dope? Sasuke looked at him with a smirk. It means, well, I deserve better. That's what Hinata-chan says anyway. And Sasuke couldn't stop himself from asking, if it was with her, the future that he would strive forward. Because if it was, if he would even considered it, Sasuke would stay silent, he would hide in the corner and watch as his future, the one that it recently had emerged from the shadows and blinked with little pieces of light, passed him by. Another tick of the clock was heard and found him smiling. He tossed aside the sheets of his bed, still thinking Naruto's answer. His push, even if his best friend wasn't aware of the fact that he gave it. He walked to his closet and found the black sweater he was looking for. As he wore it, his chest felt light, lighter than it had ever been for years. He walked to the kitchen and poured himself some coffee. He observed the mess that Naruto had left behind, before he left and he realised that he didn't care. There was nothing in the world that would ruin a day like this. Sasuke had found a new goal in life, he had grasped the surface of a routine that would never tire him, something that he truly wanted. He got up and left his house. He walked directly to the other side of town and when he reached the big white door, he asked for her. He was informed minutes later that she was not home. He decided not to wait, he didn't like the cold eyes of the guards watching him. He wondered for some time and when noon came he tried again. She had not returned yet. He pushed aside the irritation and decided to wait a little further behind, just enough distance for him to conceal his presence. The sun started to fall and his conviction drowned with it. What exactly was he going to do. He had come here, not knowing, not with a solid plan in mind. She didn't want Naruto and he didn't want her, but that didn't mean anything. He had been harsh, for more times than he could count, he had hurt her physically in their last mission and even if he wanted to be a better man, his past wasn't erased. He almost turned to leave but then he remembered her words, her hands on his face and he glued to his seat. The sky had turned purple when he saw her coming from the corner. She was wearing black, contrast with the white of her face. He got up and moved at her before she walked closer to her house. She seemed lost in thoughts as his sudden arrival surprised her.
"Sasuke-kun.." She said but he cut her gritting midway.
"Where have you been all day?" A demand for an answer he knew it was irrational. Still his tone didn't anger her. She titled her head to the side and blinked once.
"Were we supposed to meet today?" She asked and completely disarmed him. He lost his words, because whatever he was going to say, whatever he wanted to say, he had no right to do so. Then her gaze fell to his sweater and she smiled.
"It suits you." She said.
"I like it." He responded with a monotone voice. "I'm glad. It.." She stopped her sentence, before she continue again. "Were you looking me for something?" Again this feeling of helplessness attacked him. He was, yet he didn't know exactly what for.
"It can wait. It's already late." He gave her an answer.
"I have time." She spoke quickly. "I can offer you some tea if you like and we can discussed it inside." She seemed reluctant on her own offer, maybe for his part, because she believed he would refuse. He gave a look on the house at the end of the road and then his gaze turned on her.
"Okay." He said with a slight sight.
"Okay." She responded with a smile and walked past him to her compound.
They bypassed the guards and he believed they looked at him with suspicion. Perhaps it was his own panic that disordered everything around him. The corridors seemed like an endless white, a maze he could not escape even if he wanted to. The people behind the closed doors were heard whispering and he believed whatever it was, it involved him. In his life he had been in several dangerous situations, he had found himself in places more terrifying and sketchy, yet as he walked behind her, it was the first time that he thought his heartbeat was loud enough to echoed in the walls around him.
She opened a door and entered a room and he felt compelled to follow. As if he lost her from his sight, he could never find his way back.
The room seemed familiar in a way, even if he believed he hadn't been here before. It was a study of some sort, a desk, two chairs and a couch. She opened the curtains but the light had started to dissapear in this past hour. Her hand touched a lamp and the place was lighted enough.
"I will bring us something to drink." She said then and he probably agreed because she left the room and him behind.
He sat on a chair mechanically and he thought that even if he had agreed to come to talk to her about the reason he was looking for her, he had no particular reason at all. He just wanted to see her. It felt almost natural to come and be in her presence. But he knew he could not say that. For a moment he imagined what would she do if he really expressed his thoughts. He felt the urge to flee again but the door opened and she came back with the smell of lavender and mint to follow her.
She placed the trace to the desk, moving documents and folders aside until she finally took the seat across him. For a second he pictured himself in an interrogation room and her asking questions he didn't know the answer for.
"Which one do you want?" She said as she poured the water on the cups.
He didn't gave an answer at first. He stared at her until her eyes narrowed slightly and he remembered why the room felt familiar.
"We have been here before." He said as he took a cup from her reach.
Her eyes widened for a second, then she left a little laugh escape her lips.
"Yes. It used to be the room where the guests waited. I turned it into my study."
"I remember. It's where you tricked me with that report." He said as he took a sip and watched her lose her words.
"It was necessary." She said at last. Yet she moved her gaze from him to the last cup on the table.
We are not the same. Her words from back then, rang in his head. He had felt offended, yet he realised later that she had placed herself lower than him.
He observed her while she held the mug with both her hands and unconsciously closed her eyes as she breathed the steam that reached her nose.
"Do you like it?" He spoke of a question meant for her to ask.
"Yes. Very much." She said and his lips raised slightly.
She didn't observe the movement, or she didn't want to address it.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" She said and the fragile calmness shattered before him.
She waited for him to respond but he stayed silent.
"Sasuke is everything alright?" She said with concern, with a worry that stopped his breath.
"Hn."
"Are you..Is something the matter? You never come here." She asked again.
"No." He said without looking away.
"So why did you come?" She spoke in a last attempt to make him talk.
"To see you." He said calmly.
"About?" He could trace her tension.
He could lie. He could tell her about Naruto and Sakura, he could tell that he came to discuss about the idiotic decisions his idiotic best friend had took. And she would listen, because she always did and he liked the way her gaze never wavered when he spoke. He could say anything and even if she found it suspicious, she wouldn't address it, only if it angered her in a way.
"Do I need a reason?" His lips turned slightly in a ghost of a smile. "Why do you come to my house?" He added as he took a sip from his tea.
Her mouth opened and her eyes widened for a long moment until she regained herself.
"Of course. You can come whenever you like. I just thought... You seemed determined in a way."
He let her words hunging in the air. His head turned and looked outside on the yard. Maybe he should take her advice and do something with the land on the back of his house.
"How are you feeling?" She said and his attention was brought back to her.
"Better." He answered.
"Shino-kun says that everything went smoothly, but it natural to feel a slight pain from time to time for a couple of days." She spoke again. He felt that she wanted to add something more. He tasted his tea again and waited.
"Are you?" She said unsure.
"Sometimes." It was nothing really. A little pressure around his eyes.
"I can help you with that. I asked Shino-kun of course and he said that it won't do any harm."
"When?" He asked and she titled her head.
"I wrote him a letter and he responded."
"You wrote him about me." It was not a question and he smiled on the way it made it her nervous.
"I am partially at fault." She said and averted her gaze.
"So what can you do?" He ignored her turmoil because it wasn't her fault.
Her eyes lighted after his words. She got up from her seat and moved towards him. He knew she would not stop blaming herself and giving her a chance to do something would ease her tention.
"It won't hurt." She said softly as she standed at the side of his chair. "Can you turn?"
When he moved his chair to face her, he regretted his decision. She leaned closer, her hair had fell to the side. She touched his hair to move them out of the way and he closed his eyes to stop this panic that had risen again.
"Your hair needs a cut." She said but he couldn't respond. He just opened his eyes and looked at her face that was close and concentrated as her fingers touched the side of his eyes.
He felt her chakra relaxing the pressure he was feeling and he imagined that in a different situation he would be relaxed and calm, yet now he felt his heart beating on his throat.
He wished she would move further away, as far as she could, to stop this feeling of panic and at the same time to move closer, more closer than she already was. At this moment, he could not recall of a time that his mind was not filled with the presence of Hinata Hyuga. He could not remember how it was when his thoughts were something other than her. He couldn't understand how he was stuck in the past until not long ago and not strive for a future. How his dreams were images of blood and hatred and not the peaceful memories that he had shared with his family, that now seemed more vivid like they were hidden somewhere and now they reappeared.
"There." She said and removed her hands from him.
"Is it better now?" She asked softly.
"In a way." He answered more to himself than to her.
She looked at him with her big eyes, trying to figure out his answer.
"Your breath smells like mint." He said and for the first time in months Hinata blushed.
He got up and she took a step back placing her hands behind her back.
"It's from the tea." She whispered.
"Will you cut my hair?" He asked and her blush grew more.
Sasuke smiled. It was better. It was new and refreshing, like her laugh. He only had to figure out a way to stop this panic in his stomach. Her pink cheeks made it easier, as if she shared some of his turmoil.