Midnight

Chapter Eighteen

She opened and closed the door of her room so many times that a girl came to ask her if she needed anything. She nodded her head in denial and snuck back inside. She was behaving idiotic. Childish even. What if he had commanded to expose her arms. He didn't threat her to do so or remark any comment about what would happen if she didn't. Yet in the heat of the moment, as a thank you even she had left her jacket behind. She was to meet Shino and Kiba for a light drink in the village. Kiba had reached out as things ended badly the last time they were together. But she felt relieved when she got his invitation. She realised she wanted to see them. To be just them three along with Akamaru. To listen to them talk. To be more her. The only thing that bugged her was her outfit. She would wear a long beige skirt covering her legs and a long sleeve purple blouse on top. Then his voice popped up, making her wonder what would he do if she misbehaved. There was no certainty she would meet him. She was panicking over nothing. But what if he was out and their paths crossed. What of it. What would he do. What if he exposed her on front of Kiba and Shino. They would panicked and worry. They could contact Kurenai. And Kurenai would not settle on talks. She would meet father. And then everyone would know. Little,sad Hinata was hurting herself. She knew she deserved it but they would never understand. She took off her clothes and looked herself in the mirror.
Her arms and thighs were covered in marks. It was winter before, she didn't need to be creative.
Whatever happens.
She closed the door behind her.

___

Shino Aburame was a weird person as people often discribed. He preferred the solutited of the forest, discovering bugs. When something new came to sight his young heart pounded with excitement. He never had close friends since no other kid outside his clan shared his passion. Then team eight was formed and he found himself sharing his days with two other weird children. Kiba was an extrovert, speaking loudly, laughing easily, striving to be the best. He was familiar with a lot of other people in their class playing with them frequently when they weren't a ninja yet.
The girl, Hinata Hyuga was quiet as he himself was. But her rarely spoken voice came from the shyness and the low self esteem, unlike him. She was kind, treating them with lunch boxes of food she had prepared, blushing on the smallest things, never saying anything that might made them angry or ashamed.
He thought they would never fit together. But as the days came by, and they explored their abilities they didn't seem disgust about the bugs occupying his body. When Kurenai asked where he was and they answered that he was gone to retrieve a bug, they made it sound like the most common thing in the world.
His rare comments were welcomed with the same ease as his silence. He teased Kiba to make him explode and praise Hinata to make her smile.
He grew to love them. Kiba with his loud self, proclaiming things out of reality, Hinata with her stutters and the fingers patting each other in her front. He found his place in this weird team of theirs. He made more friends, he grew better.
Then Neji died. And Hinata lost herself. She was hiding from months and when she emerged from the shadows of sadness, she was not the same. He knew Kiba had noticed too. But there was a silent agreement between them to not push her more or she would hide away again.
She begun to smile, to spoke softly with her eyes on her feet. She seemed better, closer to what she used to be. But one night when her cheeks were painted pink, he asked himself how could she be the same as before. Hinata was the most empathetic person he knew. She would worry with your anxiety, cry with your sadness, smile brightly with your success. How she had not changed when death had came to swoop away one of her dearest people. When he spoke about his worries with Kiba, he smiled. Hinata was always a fighter, he said. She always tried against odds to better herself and everything around her, he remikded him. She was the strongest of the three when it came to willpower. And Shino believed. He believed that she was busy when she missed their arrangements, he believed when she seemed happier when she said her goodbyes rather her welcomes. Because Hinata was his best friend. And he wanted her to be better, to be happy.
When Kiba told him about her rejecting Naruto, Shino's heart tighten. Hinata loved Naruto. She loved him enough to cheer for him the same as Kiba at the chunin exams. She was his biggest admirer.
She loved him enough to cast away her life for him to live. Naruto was her light.
He would understand if she outgrew her love, growing up. If she had said anything about it. If she hadn't tried hours and hours for the red scarf that express her love. Even if he, the oblivious blonde wouldn't understand. Naruto was one of the best people in the world and the most idiotic one. When she was gentle, shy, showing her love in the small gestures that made moments a life, he was on the big events, the life changing experiences. He never thanked her for her sacrifice. Because for Naruto that was life. He would do the same in the blink of an eye.
Inside her room, Shino asked a question that left a bitter taste on his mouth. Her answer made him worse. He had relaxed and she had hide away in front of their eyes.
That summer night that Kiba had gathered them again, Shino was sure it would be the goodbye. She came last, walking quickly in their direction.
Don't make a comment about anything. He warned Kiba and for the first time his loud friend stayed silent.