Flashback ( Convo stories #1 )

9

" s'ya ba 'yun,pre? "

" Oo, s'ya nga, lapitan mo! "

Agad ako lumabas sa loob ng starbucks. I hugged myself tight. Its been a week of torture for me. Ilan beses na ako nakakarinig ng mga salita na kahit sino hindi gusto marinig.

I sat on the bench where no one there. I can even walked without a cap and jacket because I feel like people will judge me and because I need to protect something from me.

" Hey! " Someone's approached me.

Tumalikod ako dahil hindi ko naman s'ya kilala.

" Just wonderin' if you want a fuck bud-"

" Fuck you! " I stood up and took my purse but even before I walk away, he grabbed my jacket, " Let go of me! "

" Tangina mo! picture picture ka nang nudes mo tapos kapag may nakakita umiiyak ka! " I pushed him away and ran towards the nearest comfort room.

I washed my face to freshen up, trying to calm myself. Bago pa man ako makalabas, Fionna entered the comfort room. I looked away, nahihiya. Pumunta s'ya sa lababo at naghugas ng kamay.

" I know what happened... kahit si Hiro, "

My tears fell at that.

" Accept your consequences," I can't believe she says that. Hindi ko ba talaga alam kung ano problema n'ya sa'kin matapos ng malaman ko mamatay si mama lumamig 'yung pakikitungo n'ya sa'kin.

" Ano ba problema mo, yia? "

She turned off the faucet and faced me.

" Are you blind? ikaw! " she said, " You act like a innocent girl were you're not pakiramdam mo ikaw lang 'yung marunong masaktan gusto mo lahat ng atensyon nasa'yo! " She pushed me.

" Hiro suffered so much kasi masyado ka nakadikit sakanya because of your childish and bitch attitude." She rolled her eyes, " Deserve mo lahat 'yan! "

My lips parted when she said that.

" Diba gusto mo ikaw nalang 'yung pinaka problemado tao sa mundo? ayan pinost ko mga nudes mo sa social media, be happy kierra! "

I feel weak. I feel like passing out.

" Ikaw ang nag upload? " I asked, " For what? "

something hit me," for Hiro? "

She throw the wipes to me and walked away, leaving me alone.

I was getting ready for my next class when my math teacher called me,

" Ms. kierra, sorry but you failed 2 subject in business marketing and entrepreneurs, due to your 2 weeks absences. " she said. " You need to take again next year,"

My eyes got widened, " Ma'am, makakapag college po ako? " I asked her. hindi ako pwede bumagsak.

" Sad to say but No,"

Nang makalabas ako sa office ng math department agad ako naghanap nang pwede ko labasan nang sama nang loob. Sinubukan ko tawagin si Hiro pero cannot be reached kapag si Hiro nalang ang meron ako ngayon sa mundo 'to kapag iniwan n'ya ako hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

Lahat nang problema nasa akin na una namatay si mama pangalawa yung nudes pangatlo si fionna pang apat hindi ako makakapag college, hindi ko na alam kung saan ako babangon ulit.

" Kira," Nabuhayan ako nang marinig ko ang boses n'ya.

I faced him, " Can we talked? " He asked. Sumunod lang ako sakanya hanggang sa makarating kami sa tabi nang puno kung saan wala masyado tao.

" Sorry, I cheated on you, " He said

" Huh? "

He smirked, " Pinaglaruan lang kita kira, " he chuckled, " finally, nasaktan na kita, deserve mo 'yan for being a slut! "

I was shocked by his words. He's not Hiro anymore the one I trust, I was waiting for him to comfort me pero hindi ko inakala na magiging gan'to s'ya.

" What the fuck hiro? " I said. " Minahal kita! "

His lips got parted, " Hindi kita minahal..." He throw my hoodie, " Kahit kailan hindi kita mamahalin! "

He leaving me space out ni isa sa mga sinabi n'ya ayaw mag sink-in sa'kin. He's not Hiro I know for almost fucking years.

" Thank you for the pain, thankyou for those people who hurt me! " I smiled bitterly and wipes my tears. Thinking deserve ko ba 'to?

Si Hiro at si Fionna ang mga tao hindi ko inaakala na sila ang sisisira nang kinabukasan ko. Sila 'yung mga tao nasasandalan ko sa t'wing down ako. Fionna told me create a better future and become a better person. but still she's not better person for my future and Hiro told me, Feeling tired and not wanting to do something is a totally different matter. but I'm tired for wanting something. They fucking betrayed me both of them! they don't deserve a peaceful life.

" I chose myself this time. " I whispered at myself.

'yun na ang huli beses na pumasok ako at nakita ko s'ya. I'll cut all my connections and social media na related sakanila dalawa.

Naging busy narin ako dahil sa school. Nag aral ulit ako nang grade 12 and now I'm a 4th year college student hindi naging madali sa'kin ang lahat lalo na ako lang mag-isa ang nagpapaaral sa sarili ko, School sa umaga part-time sa gabi para lang makatapos ako minsan hindi na ako natutulog dahil kailangan ko mag overtime.

I smiled as I remembered those bad memories after 6 years finally I'm a architect I still remember before.

" Ano nga pala pangarap mo? " Hiro asked me,

" Arki, ikaw? "

He looked at the sky, " Lawyer," He smiled, " Mag-aaral ako nang mabuti para maging isang ganap na abogado ako "

I smiled, " Padayon! "

" Ikaw din! " Pumunit ng papel s notebook n'ya
" Let's chase our dreams, " he said. " Ikaw na bahala mag designed sa bahay, ikaw narin sa mga gamit, "

Kunot noo ko s'ya tingnan, " Ikaw ano ambag mo? " I asked him,

" Magiging anak natin," I raised my middle finger and I smirked.

Almost 6 years and he's a lawyer just like he said. I lazily lied down on my bed pagkatapos ko alisin 'yung mga gamit sa kama ko. Six years ago naalala ko si Mama binili n'ya 'to kama sa'kin kasi she wants me to realize na magkaroon nang maganda kama katulad nang sa mga artista.

Pero kahit gaano kaganda ang mga bagay nasisira parin. I sat down on my vanity mirror, just like the mirror kahit nakikita mo na ang totoo nakakapag sinungaling parin.

after I left for my own sake. no one tried to find me.. maybe because they don't have care for their mistakes, they never accept her mistake because of her jealousy.

The apology I wanted... I never got it perhaps it's her decision to just live it.. but its still pain for me . Hindi parin ako makapaniwala na magagawa n'ya sa'kin yung mga bagay na 'yon. Siguro kung iba tao ang gumawa nun konti lang ang sakit pero hindi si Fionna eh. That person I treated like my own sister. That one person I trusted and who made me feel like she believed in me.

She destroyed my life..

para saan?

I looked at my mirror infront of me,

Worth it ba? may napala ba s'ya? dahil ba sa ginawa n'ya naging isa ba s'ya ganap na CPA?
after all she did I'm still stupid, duwag, dumb. The Kierra dane who doesn't know how to fight for herself.