Him

Im not okay

As I stared at gee his smiled discreetly
at me I blushed ( something I rarely do)
" okay , I wrote this song an it's about me and Chloe's experience at high school so far " he looked at me smiled , "you ready ? " he beamed I sat quietly waiting

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

I stood up clapping like a maniac " THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME ! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING !" I screeched trying not to well up with tears of happiness because I broke my foot jumping out the second floor with him and my boyfriend did take some shocking photos , I was just bursting with pride I think , I ran towards Gerard wrapped my arms around his neck so his head was just resting in the gap between my neck and shoulder , his hands moved towards my lower back just around my waist area I snapped back into reality after my butterflies got out of control I looked into his chestnut/hazel eyes and they were examining my face I smiled and pulled myself away and coughed , then frank saw me " do you wanna drink , are you allowed one ? "
I was thinking , we came back to school on a Friday , no school so I thought why not eh !
"Yeah sure , it's classed as the weekend so why not ?!!?" I laughed as Ray , frank , Mikey and another lad who I didn't catch the name of walked into the house leaving me alone with Gerard , he was dis-mantling the mic and he didn't notice I was stood behind him , I sat down on a stool just behind the drums I looked at him , he was quiet " so , it's your job to tidy and put away ?"
" no , it's just I like to get everything sorted and ready so we can head off in the morning so- "
I cut him off
" morning !??! What do you mean the morning ? I told my mom I'd be back for 10 , for God sake Gerard ! "
I said rolling my eyes and crossing my arms and frowning towards him
" look , just tell your mom were having a drink here and Mikey or you can't drive and Gerard's had a drink so you can stay the night with Gerard , I won't try anything on with you and you could borrow one of my big tops to wear as a night shirt , eh ?"
"Fine ! Fine " I shouted rolling my eyes an I texted my mom , she was okay with it thank god