Time To Grow

Chapter 11

Dear Journal,

I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk about my problems to someone who's only pretending to care because they get paid to do so. Dinah is right, it might be good for me, I've heard that these people are good at making people "better" but I still won't do it. I would rather talk to Dinah or my dad, not a stranger.

Dinah. I can't wrap my head around why she thinks so highly of me. I'm a disaster. I've been crying a lot, and I've been in bed a lot, and she still comes cuddle me. She kisses me, and makes me feel good. I won't sit here and be like "Oh yeah, I love Dinah." I love her like a friend, for now. That could change.

She's next to me right now, sleeping. She's just as beautiful when she's sleeping, did you know that? She's always beautiful, even when she thinks she's not, even when she's got bedhead. Always.

I'll write more later though, I just want to be with her right now.

-xoxo, Lauren

Closing her journal, Lauren slid it under her pillow. She looked over at Dinah's sleeping figure and smiled. She stayed snuggled up to her, waiting for her to wake up. She started to doze off again when the girl began to stir about half an hour later. Dinah rubbed her eyes before opening them.

"Hi Lolo.."

"Hi sleepyhead."

Dinah just smiled at Lauren, who pulled her closer. She squeezed Dinah gently, waiting a few minutes in silence with her before letting go. She got out of bed, and Dinah followed her as she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Both girls leaned over the sink, getting their teeth brushed. Once Lauren had rinsed, she glanced over at the shower. Dinah followed her gaze and rinsed her mouth out too, turning to the door.

"I'll go wait for you out th—-"

"Will you come in with me?" Lauren asked, reaching out for the younger girl's hand.

Dinah nodded. "If you want me to."

Lauren grabbed them both towels, setting them on the counter. She went over and turned the water on, testing it with her hand to make sure it was warm enough for them. She stepped back, and slowly peeled her shirt over her head, watching Dinah do the same.

She would be lying if she said she didn't have butterflies. She did. All of them had seen each other naked at some point or another, but this was different for her. This wasn't her accidentally walking in on someone changing, this was her showering with someone she had feelings for. Dinah was feeling the same, but she was more excited than anything. She could see the smile on Lauren's face now, all because she said yes. The older girl hadn't smiled much lately. It was good to see that she could make the smile come back.

Once they were both undressed entirely, Lauren stepped in, Dinah following behind her. The dark haired female stood under the spray, and took Dinah's hand, pulling her closer. Dinah took her hands away, and wrapped them around Lauren's waist, keeping her body against hers. Lauren smiled a little more, and Dinah pushed a wet piece of hair out of her face.

"Are you doing okay Lo?"

"I guess so. Thank you by the way, for coming in here with me. I don't want to be alone," she whispered.

Dinah nodded. "You won't be alone if you don't want to be. I care about you Lauren. I just want to see you be alright."

Lauren knew how much the taller girl cared for her, and it was sweet. All of the girls were like that with each other, being caring and concerned, but Lauren and Dinah had something more than that. It wasn't always clear that it was there, but it was.

The two of them switched spots so that Dinah could get the water sprayed directly on her, while Lauren grabbed the shampoo, pouring some into her hands. She was about to rub it into her hair, but Dinah wiped it from Lauren's hands into her own, raking her fingers through her friend's hair. Lauren let out a soft moan at the feeling of Dinah massaging the shampoo in. Dinah lathered it all the way from her roots to her tips.

Lauren proceeded to rinse it out, and shook her head as Dinah went to reach for the shampoo bottle to do her own hair. "No, babe, let me help." she said.

Dinah crouched down a little bit so that Lauren could reach properly. She bit down on her lower lip, and let Lauren do it. Once it was all in, Dinah rinsed her hair out, and let out a happy sigh. She kissed Lauren on the cheek, and grabbed the body wash, uncapping it. She raised an eyebrow at her friend, trying to communicate with her without words to see if they were going to do this themselves or to each other like they had with the shampoo.

Lauren looked at the body wash, then down at herself, nodded. She wanted Dinah to do it. Dinah started rubbing the body wash up by her friend's shoulders, moving to her upper chest. Her hands moved down over and around her breasts, and Lauren licked her lips, locking her eyes on the girl's face. Dinah moved her hands down to Lauren's tummy, and as she did, Lauren looked away, tearing up.

"Hey, no, don't cry.." Dinah whispered, moving her hands back up to the girl's shoulders.

"I'm sorry.."

Dinah let Lauren rinse off, and she pulled her close, noticing that the wetness on her face was more than jut from the shower. She kept Lauren close, running her hand over her back.

"You don't need to say sorry, Lauser. You're sad, it's okay."

"I hate this."

That wasn't news to Dinah. She knew that already, but she didn't say that out loud. She pressed her lips to Lauren's forehead, and ran a thumb over her cheek.

"We're going to get you back to normal soon. Well, maybe not back to normal, but you know what I'm trying to say. I hope you do anyway."

Lauren giggled a little bit, wiping her eyes. "Yeah, I do. But we'll see if that really happens."

"We will. Now turn around so I can finish washing you."

Lauren turned, and pulled her hair over her right shoulder. Dinah used the body wash over her back, and leaned down a little, pressing her lips against Lauren's neck. Lauren hummed in pleasure, before Dinah pulled back so Lauren could rinse off again.

Lauren chose to start with Dinah's back, covering her in the lathering body wash, before moving to her front. As she moved her hands over her chest, Lauren leaned in to capture Dinah's lips with her own, kissing her softly. Dinah happily returned it before pulling back a bit.

"You have no idea how much I like it when yo do that," Dinah admitted, before going to rinse herself off.

Once she finished, she turned the water off. She looked at her friend, noticing the way she shivered slightly now that there wasn't any water keeping her warm. The younger girl stepped out first, and wrapped a towel around herself before wrapping one around Lauren.

Dinah left the bathroom, while Lauren got her hair brushed and blowdried. Dinah got herself dressed, before she and Lauren switched spots. Lauren tried to find clothes other than pjs like she'd been wearing most of the time. Getting into a pair of jeans and a black tank top felt kind of good. She dug through her clothes frustratedly when Dinah came back to stand with her.

"Whatcha looking for?"

Lauren patted the top of her head.

"Ah. Lern Jergi needs a beanie."

Lauren nodded, and continued to look. Dinah spotted Lauren's red one sitting on a chair and put it on her friend's head.

"You're a lifesaver Dinah, really."

"I know," she replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a laugh. "I'm hungry, can we leave and go get food? Please?"

Lauren hesitated. She wasn't sure she wanted to go outside, but she nodded. "Pizza?"

"Pizza."

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a/n: Sorry for the slight delay on this chapter. I was feeling stuck on what to write, and Sunday was mothers day and I had archery lessons so things got busy. But I hope you enjoyed this update! :)