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Is it too late ; To even hope that love will find me?
Whenever I look around, and I see people having found love, some way younger than I. Some same age as me. I wonder if I missed my chance.
Did Cupid skipped me? Did love saw me and decided that I wasn't worth the time or my existence was passed by unnoticed completely;
Have I been forgotten or have I finally convinced them with my denial; When I confidently claim that love is not something I need, that never equalled that I didn't want it.
There's a part of me that has settled with loneliness. It has accepted it as the partner I will have till my last breath yet there's another part that still longs for miracles.
For a soul to appear and convince me, that love didn't abandon me. It was just late because it was making sure, to be the best it could before the eyes of my wounded, lonely soul.
I wish love would prove to me soon, that I too deserve to feel it, live it. That my wait for it, has not been in vein.
Only if a love could come, and just soothe the pain. Embrace my broken pieces and encourage me to be all I am.
Without judgment, without fear. If someone wouldn't be scared of the force my heart can love with. If someone would appear that would be worth all I have within, and would cherish my storms as explosions of art.
If they could make me fall in love,to the point I would see pain in his eyes as a gift and I would take it from them without a hint of hesitation.
A love where I could lean my weight on and be strong enough to bear whatever weight they decided to entrust on me.
Is the love I want the one that doesn't really exist, or does everyone else have it but me?
Am I too late to even have such wishes? Will I die with hopes and longing?
As I look around at people, as they smile at each other with glazed eyes, hold unto a hand they know that it will never let them down.
I can't help but realize that's there's truly a big chance
That my empty hand might indeed remain empty.
Because love isn't for all and this wait must be the message that I have been trying to avoid.
Nothing is coming Because I never allowed anything to come.
For as much as I want love equally as much I fear it. And even if it ever was to come my way, I would try to hide from it.
How do you find happiness, if you yourself are the one, that's working against you?
Maybe I am not too late, but I am certainly too far gone. And if love is for the normal ones, then alone I shall begone.
