Shanina and I tied the knot over the past weekend.
I never anticipated getting married again but we took a leap of faith and I could not be happier to be starting this next chapter of life with her. We found out that Shanina is expecting my child which only solidified why I wanted to make this official.
The only regret that I have is that I did not officially propose to her but we did get married at my home, surrounded by our loved ones. I am not ready to become a father again but it is slightly humiliating to know that I will be a father to three children by three different women.
"I want to apologise for treating you badly before we broke up the last time." I turn my body to face Shanina's as she rubs her growing stomach. "You deserved better than what I gave you and I was a fool for giving you up."
Shanina softly smiles at me, "All is forgiven."
"It shouldn't be that easy though." I pull her body over to mine. "When the whole sex tape was leaked, I should have been man enough to apologise to you instead I told you to deal with it. I've scolded Zander for the way that he treated Tiffany but I needed to look at the way that I was treating you because I wasn't any better."
"You hurt me a lot but it's not as if you were being unfaithful or treating me badly." She gives me a look. "You kept it real and your delivery may have hurt but that was to be expected from a recent divorcee."
"This is my second and last marriage." I hold out my hand and she smiles while placing her hand in mine. "I vow to always make it work even when I feel like giving up, I want to give our family the whole world."
"I can't believe that I'm pregnant." Shan's eyes widen slightly. "I always knew that I would eventually want children of my own but I didn't expect it to happen so soon."
"Beau and Lily are really excited to be having a new sibling." I smile at the thought of my children. "Lily is already talking about clearing out one of the rooms and she's got this whole pinterest board dedicated to a unisex nursery."
"Awe, that's so cute." Shan rests her head against my shoulders. "I know that you don't give your parenting any credit but you really have done an amazing job of raising her. She is the perfect little woman and you should be really proud of yourself."
"Thanks."
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Prior to the wedding taking place, we had the whole Lake clan come down to help move Shanina's things into the home. We got her fully moved in within two days which is crazy considering that she had a lot of stuff and the amount of clothes that we went through was unreal.
"What concerns do you have?" I ask her as I look at the nanny cam that I had installed in Beau's room now that he is in my full time care. Lia admitted herself into a rehabilitation facility so our son will be in my care until we can come to some sort of decision on Beau's residence.
The dream would be to have my son living with me full time but Lia and I have finally come to mutual terms following our bitter divorce. I would hate for her to revert back to her hateful ways which honestly is a pain in the ass to deal with.
"I know that you have a great group of friends but I don't want this to be that drink and drugs home." Shanina rubs her lips together. "I would like for them to have respect for this home and family."
"Despite their own issues, they're honestly a good bunch and I would never bring the wrong people around my kids." I sigh while running a hand through my hair. "I want us to be open with eachother and open is understanding that I'm not going to be the most amazing man in the world but I will try."
"That's all I could ever ask."
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ShaninaShaik: Welcome to Hawaii
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Shanina and I were on a honeymoon in the Carribeans before we found out that Lia had checked into a rehabilitation centre. Shan understood that I had to be with my children during this time so we flew back home the moment that we found out and spent the day with the kids.
I owe my wife a honeymoon so I decided to surprise her with a trip to Hawaii where we can honeymoon with the kids. My parents will be flying in the tomorrow to help watch the kids so I can spend some alone time with my wife without feeling guilty about not being with my kids.
"You're still an asshole for throwing me in the pool." Shanina nudges me out of the way as she starts getting ready for the dinner that we will be having at the villa. "This place is really beautiful."
"And we have our own private chef cooking for us tonight." I pick up the baby monitor to check on the kids who are sleeping in the room downstairs.
"Ugh I love you so much." She pats my butt before sitting down at the vanity. "I only need twenty minutes to get ready."
"Why are you telling me?"
"You can go check on the kids." She turns around to wink at me. "I know you want to be snuggled up with them so take your time, I'll still be here."
A smile forms on my lips, "Thanks."
Life really does have a funny way of surprising you because I never knew that I would find love so soon after my divorce. My plans post divorce was to be single, sleep around and focus on creating a routine so that my children would feel stable.
I sigh deeply while looking at my children who are sleeping on the same bed. Unlike Lily who has flown around the states with me, Beau hasn't been out of the Californian area much because we didn't want him to end up being one of those kids who spends half their lives on planes.
"God." I run a hand through my hair as I think about my contribution to their lives and if whether I'm fucking things up for them. I would like to believe that I'm a good dad but I know that I could be way better and that starts by having my kids all under one roof.
A vasectomy is something that I should probably consider so I'll need to shoot Zander a text since he recently got his done. I know that Shan would be against one but having multiple kids by multiple people is not something to celebrate and who knows where we will be in one or three years time.
Instead of staying in the room while Shan gets ready, I decide to do a walk around the property so I can have time to reflect on my life thus far. A cigarette finds itself in my hand as I walk to the edge of the property and I shakily light it while staring out at the world.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I curse to myself upon realisation that I am a married man and a soon to be father of three.
There is a feel of dread that surrounds my body because I know that my life as Brennon Lake is officially over and it saddens me to know that I can never be selfish again.
