It's not the end of the world.

Pink Peonies

I hear the doorbell ring from my bedroom as I slightly turn on my other side to stare at my wall. I can hear my mom's slippers hitting the floor as she goes to answer the door. I stay in the same position not moving a single inch paralyzed. I hear our heavy door open and my mom saying.

"Hi, Beau."

"Hi, I was just stopping by to see if Hadley was here."

I hear silence for a second and my bedroom door opens. I don't move from my position still staring at the wall. I feel a slight indent next to me. I don't look but I know it's my mom sitting in front of me.

"Hey, baby Beau is here he wanted to see how you were doing." I sit in silence not replying.

"What do you think about you and him hanging out tonight? He can even stay for dinner." I look at her for the first time and shake my head no. She shakes her head saying okay and kisses me on the forehead before she slowly walks out. I hear my door shut and my mom returns to the front door. I hear a faint whisper.

"I'm so sorry Beau maybe tomorrow she's not feeling it today." The front door shuts.

That was the second time Beau had shown up at my house. I sit in silence again not moving not thinking just laying there facing the wall. Then out of nowhere, I hear a knock on my window. I don't turn around I just stay in my spot.

Then I hear another knock on my window and a loud whisper yelling saying, "Hadley." I recognized the voice.

I shut my eyes slightly ignoring it. Until I heard another knock. I opened my eyes slightly and lazily turn to face my window. I don't say anything and look out the window to see Beau with flowers in his hands. Peonies pink ones with dirt and roots still attached to them. The same pink peonies as my next-door neighbors. I look at him still saying nothing. He waved with a huge cheesy smile. I quickly turn back to face the wall.

"Hey, Lee. I umm I'm not sure what is happening, but I just want you to know that I'm here. I got you these flowers." I didn't say anything I just lay there not moving.

"Okay Lee, I love you, and whatever this is just know you can do this. You are the strongest person I know. And I know you don't need me, but I will always be here to remind you that you are strong. And If I must come every day with flowers I will."

Some time passed and the silence settled. I turn back towards the window to see no Beau in sight, but the pink peonies leaned against my window. We were 14 at that time and he kept his promise. For the next four days he showed up with flowers he stole from my neighbor's yard in his hand in front of my window.

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This is part of the story where it all starts to blend together. I guess it's what they call dissociation. That happens to me more times than I can count. The closest thing I can remember is homecoming week.

"So, what are you going to wear?" Candy asked us all.

"I'm not entirely sure yet," I tell her.

"It can't be any dress I mean this is homecoming. Our last homecoming!" She says with an emphasis at the end. I nod my head laughing slightly. Just as we sit at the cafeteria tables, Beau, and Heather approach our table.

"What are you guys wearing?" Candy asks them both as they sit at our table. "What are we wearing to what?" Heather asks.

Candy looks over at Heather shocked. "To homecoming."