You Are My Life

The Note.

Oprah finally got what she wanted, I had been dodging her for weeks but Sasha convinced me to finally sit down and do an interview with her. Sasha claims it'll be a great look on my image. I roll my eyes as I sat in the green room of her studio, awaiting my appearance. I had to put on a fake smile, I honestly didn't like Oprah. The way she handled Michael's interview bothered me. "Please welcome, Jayla!" I hear her yell out. I walk into the studio to bright lights and smiling faces. I give a big wave and lightly smooch both of Oprah's cheeks. "How are you?" She grins as we sit opposite each other. "I'm great, how are you?" I ask. "I'm so happy I finally got you on the show!" She exclaims. I laughed. "I have been trying to get her on this show for about 2 years!" She says to her audience. "But your here now and I'm so excited! So what have you been doing!" She asks. "I've been working." I answer. "Writing music, planning a tour, recording. I've been working really hard." I add. "Is that therapeutic? Pushing yourself into your work..because we know these past 2 or 3 years you've gone through a lot of stuff." She asked "Yeah, it is. But I'm happy. I love what I do, so it doesn't feel like work" I giggle. She nods her head. "Well let's go back, you and Michael were married and you announced a pregnancy. But there was no baby. What happened?" I start to get uncomfortable and shift in my seat. "Unfortunately...he didn't make it. Obviously. He...had some um, some complications. His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck." I say wiping light tears. "He died immediately after birth." I add. Oprah hands me a tissue. "That's the worst pain a woman can feel. Losing her child. We are all so sorry you had to go through that..and so young. You were what? 21? 22?" She says softly. "I was 22" I answer swiftly. "Now here's what I was confused about. A couple months later you see all of these tabloids and magazines with pictures of Michael and another woman. You both were dealing with a terrible loss and where was he?" Oprah digs. "You know, Michael... He's a good man. He needed a friend like normal people do when grieving. When I needed him he was there for me. But looking back, I was so distraught. I couldn't be there for him. So I guess, this woman was the friend he needed." I try to respond as respectfully as possible. I knew she was trying to get me to bash Michael and I was not going to do that. "How do you feel about Debbie Rowe now? Seeing as how she's married to him and has had his baby." Oprah asked. "I don't feel any way about her. I'm very happy for Michael and the healthy birth of his baby boy. I was actually worried because I felt like he may have been scared because of what happened with our child." Oprah nods her head. "that's beautiful, that after everything you two have been through you can stay positive towards him. Some women can't do that." Her audience applauds. "Do you still have feelings for Michael?" She asks. "Honestly, Michael means the world to me. I've known him since I was 13 years old. I love him, I always will. But it will always be a friendship kind of love. I'm happy with who I'm with." I respond honestly. "Who are you with now? We see his face all in the papers, but who is he?" Oprah asks. I sigh and smile. "He's Brian. He makes me happy. I love him." "Is Brian ok with how you feel about Michael?" She was starting to get on my nerves. "I think anyone who deals with me, has to accept the depth of me and Michael's old relationship. Brian understands who Michael is to me and where he stands in my life. But Brian also knows where he stands in my life." I explain. "Michael is a distant friend" I add. "Thank you for coming on the show Jayla Pearson everyone!" I breathe deeply. It was over.

A few days after the Oprah interview aired, I came home to another note at my door. Of course, I knew who it was from. "He must've seen the interview" I say to myself. I pick up the note and walk inside. "Rambo, we've got another note!" I playfully say to my cat picking him up and sitting him on my lap.

"Jayla, I saw your interview. I just wanted to thank you for not turning against me. It seems as though everyone is starting to. It's crazy to see that after everything we've been through your still my truest friend. Every feeling you shared on Oprah was a reflection of my feelings for you. I cherished you as my wife and I still cherish you as a friend. My love for you is forever and my love will always be yours. I want you to meet my son, your godson. Give me a call. 555-0123 Let's not be distant friends anymore."

I sit on my couch, re reading the note. Do I want to call him? I haven't heard him, nor seen his face in a year and a half. Am I ready for this? What will his wife think? I decide not to call him tonight. I needed to think on things. I give Brian a call. "Hey baby, how's the movie going?" I ask. "It's going pretty good. We finished the first 13 scenes of the movie. But I've still got two more months of filming out here. I miss you baby" he says. " I miss you too." We talk a little more about the movie and what I've been doing. "You sound so distracted. Are you ok?" He asked "yeah I'm fine." I lie. "Okay. Well babe I'm gonna go to bed it's like 1 am over here. I love you girl" he kisses into the phone. I giggle weakly. "I love you mo-TOO! I love you too baby." I hang up. Rambo jumps up on the couch. "You know Rambo. I think I will call Michael tomorrow."