You Are My Life

Its Different.

I stretch as the sun hits my left eye harshly, causing me to squint. "Well good morning beautiful." Michael says sweetly with a smile, passing me an already prepared cup of tea. "Good morning.." I strain out through another stretch. I walk towards the large floor to ceiling window to admire the view of New York City. My back piercing me throughout my body, I let out a small groan and bend backwards. "Why didn't you sleep in the bed?" Michael asks, walking behind me. His hands were so big and perfect for this massage he began performing. "Well, I had got in the shower, with a plan to get in bed. But you fell asleep as soon as I got out. Plus, Prince and Paris were sleeping too. You guys were so cute I didn't want to disturb you" I laugh. Michael chuckles. "Sorry about that." He wraps his arms around my waist and begins attacking my neck with kisses. "Don't get something started." I smirk back. "You know I will.." He chuckles softly. Michael and I giggle together out to the living room where everyone was crowded around the television. "Oh my God." I say breathlessly with my hand to my face.

"A plane has crashed into the south tower of the World Trade Center. We're keeping you updated on all the news as we receive it.."

The television blared. My cellphone began to ring and without checking the ID, I answer immediately. "Hello?" I say in a slight panic. "Jesus Jayla, thank God you're safe." Brian says in a deep breath. "Where's Angel?" He asks. "She's sleeping..we're not near the towers. Don't panic." I assure him. "I just... I just needed to hear your voice that's all." He sighs. "Thank you for calling.." I say shortly. I hear him inhale sharply. "Jay when we get the chance, maybe when you come home. We need to talk.." I nod as if he can hear me as he hangs up. "I don't want my kids to see this Grace. Please take them in the back." I hear Michael say somberly. I sit in front of the TV with my mouth wide open, I feel Michael plop next to me. "Jay, we've got to change this planet. We've GOT to. I'm raising my kids and you've got Angel. We can't raise them in a world that's like this." He says, his voice cracking. I nod my head, swallowing tears. "All those innocent people. " I add. This was my home being placed under attack. I couldn't understand. Michael and I sat in front of the television for what felt like hours, watching the news. We were held in our room for safety by our bodyguards and there was nothing we could do. We watched plane after plane hit a building or crash into the ground. After a while, I grabbed my daughter. I wanted to keep her safe from all of this.

**

"You've got it..come on!" I say playfully to Angel. She's finally started walking and I've never been so proud of her. Michael watches on the couch next to a sleeping Paris, as Angel stumbles towards me. "I can't believe she's walking now.." He says with a smile. "I know...she's growing teeth now too. Soon she'll be talking. I'm not ready." Angel falls into my arms giggling happily, as I pick her up and kiss her cheeks. "I want her to be a baby forever." "You'll be fine Jay. Kids are hard work. But as long as you love them unconditionally. It's all worth it in the end." He smiles and strokes Paris's head. I check the time, pick up Angel and begin to grab my things. We were back in LA for a couple weeks so I had to meet with Brian while I was still here. "Mike, I've gotta go. Im meeting with Brian back at home about some things for Angel...I'll be back." I smile. "Come back to me soon." He smiles, grabbing my hands. He brings me in for a kiss. "I love you. You hear me?" He says placing a finger under my chin. "I hear you, and I love you so much more." I kiss him again before walking out the door.

"Hey. " I say awkwardly as I open the door to find him on the sofa. He stands up and walks towards me. "Hey Jayla." I hand Angel over to him and put my bags down. "So you wanted to talk?" I ask. "Yeah, I want to work through everything with you. I miss you and I don't like not seeing you or waking up to see that Angel isn't around. I miss my girls." He says holding Angel closely. I give a deep sigh. "I don't want to hurt you Brian. I'm finally realizing what I want in life. I love you, please know that. But, my love for Michael is different and no matter how hard I try to replace it or mask it...I'll always end up hurting someone or myself. I can't do that to you or me..." I grab his hand stroking his knuckles with my thumb. "I'm sorry." I say softly. He nods his head. "I understand... I know how that feels. Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah." "You have this thing about you. Where people always want to protect you or just...be there for you. How do you do that?" My eyes widen and I shrug. "I don't know Brian..." A wave of silence came down on he and I as we sat in our own thoughts. "Well. I'll have Angel for the next two weeks right? I know you guys are releasing your album next week so good luck. I guess I'll see you later." Brian says quickly, I felt him trying to shorten his goodbye. I kiss Angel as Brian hands her bags to his bodyguard. I watch as they leave out of the gate. "Two weeks without my Angel" I sigh, closing the door.

Michael and I lay in bed in a tight snuggle. His arm rests on my shoulder stroking it with his thumb. "I don't know, he said he was ok...I just feel bad." I admit to him. "You told him the truth. That's all there is. I'd be happy if you told me the truth.." He says. "I've got a truth to tell you then..." I say slowly, guilt washing over me. Michael's eyes widen. "What?" "I'm..I'm in love with Prince..the purple one turns me on" I laugh loudly. "Yeah right." Michael laughs pulling me closer. "I know how he feels though. Watching you walk out the door had to be one of the saddest moments of my life. I never felt the same. I can't imagine losing you again." He wraps his arms tighter around me. I fit my head underneath his chin. "You won't lose me again. I promise you that." I place a hand on his cheek and peck his neck. "I hope not.. Cause I don't want to have to hunt you down" I giggle as he rubs his nose against mine.