Connected Souls

|Chapter 30| It Hurts...

Jumma Mubarak everyone! May Allah fulfill all your prayers on this blessed day. Keep me and my family in your prayers. Here's another early update for you all...
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Azaan
I was right now in my study. Mirha was currently sleeping. She was kept worrying about uncle's health causing me to get worried for her. If she kept tensing like this than it will affect her health too. She even denied to eat food. I didn't force her to eat because right now she's battling a tough face. I want to be her support not someone who would force her. I want her to turn to me whenever there's a problem. I exhaled. Even I didn't want to eat anything. Mama had come to check on me but I assured her that I'll eat later. The truth is I'm waiting for Mirha to wake up. She needs to eat something and I can't eat peacefully knowing that she is hungry since last night. I was in my thoughts when the door knocked. I straightened up and permitted. Eshal walked inside. She has a tray of food in her hand. She gave me a sad smile and placed the tray on the side table. I kept looking at her and she stood there quiet. Then, she spoke in a low voice
"How are you?"
I sighed and rubbed my temples. I answered truthfully
"I'm not ok. But I need to be ok because Mirha needs me."
I noticed a sour look on her face on the mention of Mirha but I ignored it. Maybe, I just imagined it due to frustration. Eshal sighed and smiled lightly and said
"C'mon eat something. You haven't eaten anything since last night. You must be famished."
But I shook my head and stated
"Please, Eshal I don't want to eat anything."
But she was persistent and said
"But you have to take care of your health too. Please tayi made this food. She is really worried for your health."
I scrunched my face. This is torture. I took a deep breath and stated
"Eshal, please don't force me. I don't want to eat anything."
Eshal clicked her tongue and spoke
"Azaan, I know you're worried for Mirha. But you have to take care of yourself too. How will you handle Mirha when you're in this situation already."
Well, she has a point. I need to take care of myself then only I can handle Mirha. I nodded my head and a wide grin appeared on Eshal's face. I stood up and walked to the chair. I sat down and started eating. I really don't want to eat and the other thing, Eshal was also sitting there staring at me. I got uncomfortable and asked her
"Is there something on my face?"
She jerked out from her whatever trance she was in and her cheeks were red. I looked at her in a weird way. Eshal then stated
"Nothing. I'm sorry for staring."
I nodded my head and she stood up. Suddenly, I coughed when a piece of flat bread went in the wrong tube. Eshal halted in her steps and ran towards me. She offered me a glass of water and I instantly gulped it down. When I calmed down, I noticed that she was just sitting way too close to me. I immediately maintained a distance and she also pulled away. I looked away in embarrassment and awkwardness filled the air. Eshal finally stood up and said
"I'm leaving downstairs. If you need anything, then you can ask me."
I nodded and finally she left me. I sighed in relief. I don't know but I feel way too awkward whenever Eshal is near to me. I know its bad to think like that about my cousin but her behavior is strange making me think about it. I shook my head to get these thoughts out of my mind and resumed eating. After that, I have to wake Mirha so that she could also eat something..
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Eshal
I was right now in the backyard. The atmosphere is so soothing and chilly right now. I just love this part of the house so much. It gives me peace and serenity. I love the nature here. It's so attractive and mesmerizing. One again my thoughts lingered to Azaan. The way he speaks, the way he looks. He is a dream of every girl. I admired him since childhood and always kept my feelings in the dark. When I thought that no one will take him away from me now only then this Mirha had to come and shattered my dreams. I have no personal grudges against her. She is beautiful, innocent and perfect. But Azaan is only for me. She has no right to steal him from me like that. I tried my best to control my feelings but whenever I see them happily together, my anger knew no bounds. Azaan was supposed to be mine. She stole him from me. She can't stay happy when I am sad. I heard footsteps approaching and I looked up to saw mama standing there. Her face was etched with worry and she said
"I was searching for you in the whole house."
I cheekily smiled at her and she sat down beside me. I rested my head on her shoulder and she started caressing my hairs. I closed my eyes enjoying her motherly scent and touch. But soon my eyes filled up remembering how easily Mirha stole Azaan from me. I couldn't control and tears started falling down my cheeks. Mama noticed it and she became worried. She pulled away and made me looked at her. She wiped my tears and asked me with concern dripping from her voice
"Beta, kiun ro rhi hu?"
Translation:( dear, why are you crying?)
I sniffled and hugged her sideways. Mama wrapped her arm around me and I cried in her embrace. She kept rubbing my back and said
"Eshal, you're scaring me beta. Tell me what's wrong? Did someone say something to you?"
I shook my head and pulled away. I wiped my tears and said
"It's just so hard mama. I just couldn't see him happily living his life when I am spending my life in utter misery."
Mama's eyes filled with fury and she scolded me
"Eshal, how many time I have to tell you to stop thinking about him? He's not worth your tears, jaan."
Translation:( Jaan: life)
I sniffled again and said
"Mama, I know but I can't just forget him like that. I had liked him since so many years. It's so hard to just forget him like that."
Mama nodded her head in understanding and I stated
"Maybe, I am not perfect enough. Mirha is more beautiful and kind hearted. Maybe I haven't reach his expectations."
Mama shook her head and cupped my face. She wiped my tears and said
"No, beta. Never ever think like that. Azaan is a fool to reject you and marry that good for nothing girl. You are perfect in every way. Don't ever compare yourself with her."
I nodded my head and apologized to her
"I'm sorry for making you worried like that. I kept making you worry by my useless cries."
Mama shook her head and assured me
"No beta. You can share everything with me. I will always support you. Don't ever shy away from me."
I smiled at her and hugged her. I mumbled still hugging her
"I love you so much."
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Mirha
I opened my eyes when I felt the side of bed dipped. I rubbed my eyes to get a clear view and saw Azaan sitting there gazing at me with his worried eyes. I stood up on the bed and rested my back at the head rest. He turned to me and asked me while caressing my face
"Are you feeling ok, now?"
I barely nodded my head and sighed. He sighed deeply and told me
"C'mon let's wash your face. You have to eat food."
But I shook my head. How can I eat food when my baba is lying on the hospital bed fighting for his life. Tears built in my eyes just thinking about it. Azaan saw my state and he placed the tray on the side table and wiped my cheeks. I hugged him and he embraced me in his strong arms. I wept silently. It hurts... It hurts so bad. I felt like someone is stabbing with thousand daggers simultaneously. I don't know how to get rid of this pain. My baba is in danger. He is fighting for his life. How can I enjoy food when he is there battling with death? I finally pulled away and Azaan looked at me with his gentle eyes. I sniffled loudly and he said
"C'mon, wash your face."
I nodded my head and get down from the bed. I went inside the bathroom and sprinkled water on my face. When I looked up to see my reflection in the mirror, a loud gasp left my lips. My eyes were red and swollen. There were dark circles under my eyes. My hairs pictured a mess. I looked completely different than I looked from two days before. I sighed and held the counter tightly. Suddenly, I heard knock on the bathroom's door and Azaan's worried voice reached my ears
"Mirha, are you ok? Did something happen?"
I cleared my throat and opened the door. He looked at me with concern filled orbs and once again asked
"Mirha, please tell me if something is wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?"
I lightly smiled at his gesture and worry and assured him
"I'm ok. Don't you worry."
I once again sat down on the bed and he sat beside me. He forwarded the tray infront of me and I made a sour face infront of him. He looked at me with stern eyes and stated
"Mirha, I know it's hard for you. But please you're making me worry. Look at your condition. You are in dire need of food."
I looked away because he is damn right. I looked like a mess. My stomach is begging me for food but I just couldn't in myself to eat anything. Azaan held my chin and made me looked at me. I lowly looked at him and stated
"I know you are worried for me and I am sorry for making you worry. But please Azaan don't force me. I really don't want to eat or drink anything."
But this time he was more persistent and said sternly
"Mirha, stop it. How will you face your baba in this condition? Tell me will he be happy seeing you like that?"
At his question, I went into deep thoughts. He somewhere right. Baba would never want to see any of his daughter like that. He always told us that be strong in every situation no matter how hard it seems. I looked at Azaan and finally gave up. I sighed and started eating. I took my time in eating and when I finished, he took the tray and was about to leave but I stopped him and said
"Let me take it. You should take some rest. You must be tired."
He was about to protest but I cut him off
"No, don't argue on this. You also need rest. I am fine anyways."
He finally gave up and I took the tray from him. He laid down on the bed and closed the door. I reached downstairs and placed the tray in the basin. Ammi walked inside and when she saw me standing there, she immediately asked
"Mirha, bacche kesi hu?"
Translation:( Mirha, child how are you now?)
I lazily smiled at her concern and assured her
"I'm fine Ammi. Thank you for food."
She smiled and patted my head lovingly. She kissed my forehead and stated
"Beta, you can share everything with me ok. I know you're in a hard time right now but always believe in Allah. He will never leave your side. He is the most merciful. He will surely cure your father. Keep praying to him."
I nodded my head and she said
"Go and offer namaz. Pray to him for only He can listen you."
I nodded my head and walked out. I placed the prayer mat on the ground and performed the Asar prayer. I raised my hands up and I literally cried and prayed to Allah
"Ya Allah! Please give health to my father. Keep him in your protection. Take this pain away from us. I can't handle it anymore. I can't see him like that. He is the most strong person I've ever seen. Ya Allah! Please grant him health."
I end my prayer and this time I felt relieved. I folded the prayer mat and another ray of hope rise inside my chest. I know my Allah will never disappoint us. He is the most merciful. He never left his people alone. He always help them and I believed completely that baba will be ok. Allah will cure him....
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That's a wrap guys. I really hope you like this update. Please do vote share and comment. It would mean alot to me.
Till then take care
Allah Hafiz
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