Connected Souls

|Chapter 38| Straightening The Bond

First of all thank you so much guys for 3K reads. I'm just so speechless. I can't even describe it in words. So here's an early update for you all as a gift. I hope you all like surprises....
****
Eshal
I was really anxious. First the shock of baba had me immensely shaken and now the accident that happened with Mirha. Azaan was really angry about baba's betrayal to them. How will he react when he finds out that we accidentally pushed Mirha from the stairs? He would definitely kills us. We all know how much he adored Mirha. He can't even tolerate any bad word against her. How would he react when he'll got to know that we pushed his beloved one from the stairs and that we are responsible for her condition right now. He would probably won't even look at us anymore. I was biting my nails in agitation when the door to my room creaked open and mama entered inside. Her eyebrows furrowed and face features contorted in tension and worry. She stared at me and then I just burst finally venting out my frustrations, fears and worries
"Mama, you saw how he reacted about the betrayal of baba. He would definitely kill us if he got to know about Mirha's accident is caused by us. He would never even look at me anymore. Mama,I can't lose him. I can't just lose him."
I started to pull my hairs off in frustration when mama hurriedly walked towards me and stopped my actions. Her face was contorted with shame and worry for me. She held my hands in her and gave them a little squeeze. She tried to cooed me
"Relax, my daughter. Don't stress out. Everything will be ok."
Mama's word always calmed me down but right now they are everything but calm. My mind is too gone to register anything. I can't be optimistic right now. Everything is wrong. Everything went wrong just because of my stupid feelings which I can't seem to let go off. If only I had let go off of my feelings quietly than nothing of all this would have happened. Azaan would be living his life happily, contented with his wife. Heck! He may have been getting ready to become a father by now. But no! Just because of my stupid crush on him and the amount of hatred and jealousy I have pent up inside my heart ruined everything. I ruined his happiness. I took the sole way of his happiness from him. I didn't fail to notice that he practically cried for her in the corner of the hospital. He loves her so much that even the thought of not seeing her again shuddered him. I saw him hugging his mother so tight and emptying up his emotions. I have heard the way he spoke about Mirha to tayi Ammi. By all of this I understand one thing that if Mirha hadn't come in his life, he still would never look at me the way he look at Mirha. I will always be his cousin sister like Rabia. He would adored me and love me but in a romantic way but it in a brotherly way. I didn't understand that in the process of making him mine, I lost him as my cousin. I didn't understand that perhaps he might not be my husband anymore but he would still be my favorite cousin forever. Our bond will never break. It's connected with blood. No one can break it. I was so stupid all the way. I wished I had understood all of this beforehand. But better late than never. I turned to mama who was in deep thoughts. I felt bad for her too. I know she was also against Azaan being the CEO but she never ever thought of betraying the family like that. My mother may not be a good person in regards of family but she never thought bad for the family's business or reputation. She always wanted the best for the family. She was equally shocked and disappointed by baba. She loves him and always supported him. If only she had even the slightest idea of what he was doing this all the time, she would have stopped him right there and then. I sighed. Maybe it's time I come clean to my every sin. I don't want to live with this burden anymore. If I need to live the rest of my life happily then I should be free of every sin and secrets. I turned to mama and cleared my throat. This got her attention and she fully turned towards me. I sighed and stated
"Mama, I have come to a conclusion."
She looked at me with raised eyebrows and asked
"What type of conclusion?"
I took a deep breath. I was thinking about it since many months and now I think is the best time. I finally blurted out
"I am going to Canada."
Mama's eyes widened and a pure look of shock went through her face. Of,course she hasn't expected that. She shook her head and said
"Why will you go there?"
I smiled and said
"Maybe it's best if I stay far for sometime. It would give me time to digest everything that has happened in the past few months."
Mama's eyes filled with tears. She sniffled and said
"Are you leaving me too? First your baba and now you. Why my family is leaving me?"
She broke down in tears and sat down on the bed. She was crying and it made my heart clench. Maybe, it's the punishment for us to do bad with Azaan and Mirha. They never thought bad of us and all we did was bad with them. My eyes filled with tears and I wiped them before it even trickle down my eyes. I sat down beside mama and hugged her from the side. I gulped down the saliva and stated
"Mama, I'm not leaving you. I will never leave you. But I also need peace of mind too. I can't handle anymore stress."
Mama turned to me and cupped my face. She then stated
"In the race of wining, I forget that how much my own daughter was suffering. I am so sorry my child. I did injustice to you. You didn't deserve this."
My tears finally trickle down my eyes and I sniffled. I shook my head and said
"No mama. I chose to follow that path. I am as much responsible for all the bad things as much as you."
She shook her head and said
"Oh my child!"
She hugged me. I also hugged her back so tight. I cried letting my tears fell freely. Mama also cried with me. After my little crying session, I wiped my tears and pulled away from the hug. I wiped Mama's tears and kissed her forehead. I took a deep breath and stated
"Mama, before going I want to come clean infront of Azaan. I want to put this burden off my chest. If I am about to start my new phase of life than I have to come clean. I wanted to express all my feelings once and for all to Azaan. After that, if he doesn't want to see me that I won't be so surprised. It's his right to be. But I can't live like that."
Mama nodded her head and said
"You are doing so right, beta. I will also talk with Farah and Nazish and would apologize for every bad thing I did with them. I also don't want to die with hurting so many people before me."
I nodded my head and once again hugged mama. I pulled away and stood up. Mama looked at me and said
"Beta, I am going to talk with them.",
With that said, she left the room. I sighed taking a deep breath. I got up the courage and finally left the room to have a serious talk with Azaan. It's now do and die situation for me. I'll either lose him forever or straighten my bond with him...
****
Azaan
I inhaled the fresh air of the garden. It soothed my chaotic mind. I was trying to wrap my head around everything. How in a matter of only few months, our lives took a drastic turn. It went to west from east. I never ever imagine to see a side of Ahsan Chachu ever that I saw today. He doesn't look like a caring and always looking for everyone person. He looked like a selfish person who would only think about himself not even his family. He sighed shaking his head at the irony of the situation. I laughed mockingly at my situation. How I thought after marrying I'll get my happily ever after with my family stood beside me contented and satisfied in their lives. I closed my eyes relishing the few moment's peace that I have got. My life is pretty eventful right now. Getting a tad bit peace of mind is like wining a gold medal for the first time. I closed my eyes trying to clear my mind off things. I don't want to see Mirha with ceases on my face. She would never want to see me like that. How I hope she just wake up. I smiled sadly and prayed to God that she recovers from her condition. I was about to stand up to leave when I heard footsteps approaching and soon Eshal came in my sight. I stood up and she stood at a comfortable distance. She was quite but fidgeting with her fingers. She looked somewhat....nervous. She didn't even look at me in the eye which further made me suspicious. She was opening and closing her mouth like a fish. She kept quite for few minutes and then I finally decided to break the awkward silence
"Whatever you have to say, you can say it freely to me."
This was the first time she looked up at me. Her eyes held remorse for...what. I don't understand. I'm not good at depicting emotions. Eshal took a deep breath and then apologized
"I am so sorry for everything, Azaan."
Her sudden apology made me wonder. Why is she apologizing? For what is she apologizing? I don't understand even a tiny thing here. She noticed the look of confusion on my face and said
"I will explain everything to you."
I did nothing but just gave her a subtle nod. She looked scared somewhat. Eshal and scared from me... It is something next to impossible. She can never be afraid of me. I tried to comfort her
"Hey relax. Take deep breaths. Don't need to stress out."
She did the same by inhaling and exhaling slowly. She then took a deep breath and continued
"You know I was in my teenage years when I realize that I like you in a romantic way."
Ok!! That was a shocker. This was something new to me. I never in a million year expected that. She likes me in a romantic way... Woah!! It is a big piece of information to digest at the time. Eshal chuckled slowly and continued
"I expected that reaction. Of, course you wouldn't have imagine it in a million years. Since then I would always try to gain your attention. I started to look for you. Whenever we visited you, I would look forward to spent time with you. Spending time with you were the most exciting thing that I ever done. Your carefree and light behavior was a cherry on cake. You were always really respectful and humble towards me. You never even once tried to make a move on me. You would always keep your distance from me and always treat me like a little sister. But my feelings for you didn't stop. Instead they only got stronger as the time went. And before I realized I was already in love with you."
My eyes widened like saucers. This is getting really awkward. She loves me!!! How can she!! I mean I never thought her as more than just a sister to me. I tend to treat her like I treat Rabia. Eshal sighed and continued
"I know all these things are making you awkward but I needed to tell you all this. I didn't want to live with this burden anymore. Please just hear me for some more."
I nodded my head. I sat down on the branch and motioned her to also sit. She finally sat down still maintaining a good distance from me. Eshal cleared her throat and continued
"Before I could confess my feelings to you, mama told me that we are going to Pakistan for a trip. I was saddened would be an understatement. I was beyond sad. I had gain that courage after so many time and when I was ready, they just ruined my plan. I can't even deny them because they had already booked a ticket in the name off me. I couldn't do anything but to comply with them. But I looked at the good side because of this trip I could more time to make a decision. So since that I started to count the days when I'll be reuniting with you. I was very anxious, scared and at the same time excited. I wanted to see your reaction after my confession. So, when we arrived back here, I was barely holding my excitement. When I heard that tayi Ammi was looking for your bride, I was asthetic. I thought this would be the golden chance for me to confess my love for you and have you forever as my life partner. In fact, mama even talked with tayi and she agreed. But little did I know that you would reject me. That day when you straight away denied from accepting me as your bride, I was heart broken. I was shattered. I was depressed and every bad thing. I felt betrayed. Because I thought that you also like me. The way you took care of me, one would only look after someone like that when he's in love with them. But maybe I was wrong. No, in fact I was wrong. You didn't love me atleast not in a romantic way. When I heard you like some other girl, I was burning with hatred and anger for her. I thought of her a homewrecker since she stole you from me. When I heard that you are getting married, my anger knew no bounds. Since that day I decided that I would do anything just to get you back. I don't want to live a broken heart when some other third girl would happily with you."
I clenched my fists at the bench. I can't hear any bad word against Mirha. She is too good to be bad mouthed like that. Eshal looked at my expression and stated dreamily
"I know that expression. It's like you want rip apart those people who utter any bad word about your wife."
She chuckled at the end. I immediately felt bad and cleared out
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in that way."
Eshal laughed lightly and shook her head. She then again continued
"Seeing you both happy living your life contented, I was almost burn in jealousy. I can't bear seeing you passing smiles to her. I can't bear seeing your eyes shine with gleam whenever she was in the sight. I can't bear seeing you both having your lovey dovey moment when I was corner watching all of it with a heavy heart. So, then I decided on something. I started to interfere in your matters. I wanted you to notice me and I could do anything for that. First you and Mirha weren't noticing but then I realized that you might have found my behavior weird. But I was too gone to think straight. One day I was talking with mama about how to get you back and unfortunately Mirha heard our talks."
My eyes widened. This was all too wrong. My eyes now held fury. But still I controlled myself. I can't let my anger take the best of my emotions. Mama didn't raise me like that. I gestures her to continue. Eshal sighed heavily and continued
"Now that's the hard part to say. I know you must enraged but please hear me out. I know I did wrong and terribly wrong but I'm remorseful. I know I can't undo anything but atleast I can apologize for the damage I have made."
My heart was at ultra speed. I am getting anxious just thinking about what she's going to say next. Eshal began
"When we heard movements from outside, I checked and found her standing there. She looked taken aback and tried to convince us. But I was really angry that I couldn't even think straight. I told her everything more like shouted at her. She was shocked after the revelation. She tried to explain me that I was doing wrong. I can get better man than you. But that time her words only added fuel to the fire that was already burning inside me. I started blaming her for everything and then I did something very bad..."
At that she stopped. She was ashamed and tears fell from her eyes freely. I was afraid. What did she do? I hope not what I was thinking? Eshal was about to say something when we heard another voice
"I pushed her down the stairs in anger."
It was Chachi. But her words shook me. I can't believe what I just hear. She PUSHED Mirha down the stairs for what. Just for anger!!! I stood up from my place and shouted
"You did what!!!"
Eshal flinched at my words. I didn't like to raise my voice at elders but it was too much. How could she just do that? She pushed a human down the stairs just because she was angry. I shook my head not wanting to believe it. Chachi came forward but I showed my hand stopping her actions. She stood there head hung low in shame. I chuckled sourly and said
"I know you were all happy about my marriage with Mirha. I know that you didn't like her. But tell me ever once did she try to misbehave with you? She would always respect you and you did what!! How could you?"
Does she have a heart? Eshal and Chachi were both looking down in remorse and regret. Everyone came in the garden hearing my shouting. Mama came forward and made me look at her. I finally looked at her with heavy eyes. She wiped the stray tear that left my eye. She then whispered
"Bushra told me everything and about the accident with Mirha. I know she did so wrong. But she remorseful. She sincerely apologize fir her behavior."
I chuckled bitterly and muttered
"And what about Mirha's condition. She is lying there with a ventilator on her mouth. How will she apologize fir that?"
This time Chachi said
"I will apologize to her in person. Azaan, beta I know I did so wrong. I didn't even deserve to be forgiven but please son, I am sincerely sorry for actions in the past. Don't snatch the right of asking forgiveness."
Her voice cracked at the end. I was about to say something when my phone rang. It was Zahaan. I immediately attended the call and straight away asked
"How's Mirha? Did she show any movement?"
What I heard from the other side froze me on the ground. I was too shock to say anything so I just nodded my head and hummed in response. I turned around and said
"I really want to discuss this matter but I have to reach hospital urgently. Let discuss it later."
With that said, I practically ran towards the garage to my car. I sat inside and immediately put the engine to life and exited the house....
****
Whooo!! I write too much today. Only three chapters are left now with an epilogue. I really hope you all like this chapter. Again thank you for 3K reads!!! Also, on the occasion of surpassing 3k reads!! I have an amazing surprise for you all. I'll announce it on my Instagram in some days. So please follow me on insta for further updates and announcement. My insta handle is @iwrites11.
Do vote share and comment
Till then take care
Allah Hafiz
*****