I stormed out of science and right out the door, I didn't know where I was going, but I angry and sad, and that voice was fucking back.
That voice was my bulimia.
The stereotype for eating disorders is that you're skinny when you have one, however it depends on how you use it.
If you binge you're not going to lose anything, however if you eat very little and then throw that up you will. I do.
When I started throwing up I was 5'2 and 180 pounds. I was fucking fat, and everyone knows that too. I have been bulimic (god I hate that word) for about a year now and I'm now 140. A big difference.
I wont stop till I'm 80 pounds, that's when ill be perfect.
I see a caffè in the distance so I walk in. It was a cozy little caffè with a fire place and comfy couches. It gives off a sort of calm feel, and that automatically brightens my mood.
I order a coffee and sit and read near the fire. I was the closest to perfect I've been in a while, you know until one of the monitors comes in with the school cop behind her.
I try to hide behing my book, but it was no use.
"Niki? come with me." The cop was angry. I probably messed up his lazy days uhG.
I followed him back to school and into his office.
"I understand you aren't feeling the best right now, but running away from school isn't the way to go."
"I understand, but I'm feeling really sad, can i just go home." Yep, I'm completely desperate. So desperate i was playing the depression card. Wow, this was a new low.
"Of course"
When I got home I went straight to the bathroom and threw up. I didn't even eat anything so i was just throwing up mouth fulls of stomach acid, but i didn't care.
I got out of the bathroom to see a group of 10 year old girls walking holding hands outside my window. I wanted to go out there and yell at them, scream at them to get away from each other now. They are just going to somehow betray each other, and in 4 years or so they will either forget each other existed, or they will hate each other's guts. I couldn't, however, because that would be rude.
a/n
sorry if this was a sad/sucky chapter I'm not that happy today, anyway im almost at 100 reads on this AHH
this is my beyonce moment, and i probably ruined it with this chapter UHGGGG
I also accidentally wrote my name in for niki goddamn
