"DAD?!?!" I looked and I looked but I couldn't find my father anywhere, so I just assumed he went to go buy some milk or something and went back in my room to watch some television.
Suddenly my mother came running into my room, in a panic.
"Mom what is wrong?!?! MOM CALM DOWN AND TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG!" I was violently shaking her now, and I had a horrible feeling inside my stomach. My mother wasn't crying or panicking anymore she was just staring blankly at the wall.
She didn't break eye contact with the wall and whispered "Your father killed himself"
~~~~~~~
I jolted up in my bed, sticky with sweat and throat sore from screaming.
It's all your fault you know.
Yeah, I know.
It was all my fault. If I had been skinnier or prettier he wouldn't have been so embarrassed of his family that he had to go and kill himself. It was all my fault because I wasn't getting straight a's and I couldn't play any musical instrument. It was all my fault.
I turned my T.V. on, and tried to relax, I had school tomorrow so I couldn't be up this late. I tried, but nothing could stop the tears flowing down my face. Nothing could stop my hand reach for the blade, and nothing could stop that blade from sliding against my skin.
That's it now you get what you deserve.
~~~~~~~~~
I'm back at school now, and it really sucks because people are either saying that I was always so beautiful, or calling me a freak.
First of all, if I was always beautiful why in the hell didn't you all say that before.
And I know I'm a freak.
I walk into social studies cautiously, avoiding any looks from anyone. I put down my books and get out a pen when....
"Hey Niki." I whipped my head around to be facing Riley.
"Um, hi." I mumbled out, I do not like Riley, but that's only because she is pretty. Don't get me wrong or anything, all of my friends are prettier than me, but Riley was gorgeous and I hated her for it.
She had a face that didn't need makeup, and long brown loose curls. She had blue eyes that were so bright and contrasted perfectly with her dark hair. I envied her.
"So, we all need to talk, wanna come over tonight?" She smiled.
"Not really, no." I was being bitchy now, but in all honestly I dont want to have a sleepover where we all talk about my problems, that's what Dr. Jones is for. I dont need two Dr. Jones in my life.
"Well you're coming, end of story." I would fight it, but it would come again later, and I would rather get it over with. So I just grunted and looked back at my work.
The rest of the day flew by so fast I couldn't even gather my thoughts, and before I knew it I was getting into Riley's car with my friends going to face what I have been trying so hard to avoid.
a/n
you've been telling me to add more, so I did, hope this answers some questions to the 4 of you that read this. <33
