What is love?

Chapter 28

After the long walk through the corridors, I set March down on a nearby bench. He muttered thanks and pull out the fluid container from his mouth and settled it on his lap. I flexed my back a few times before walking over to the vending machine nearby and asks March if he would like anything. I mean you can't just live of infusion fluid for your whole life, right?

"Dunno. Tea maybe?"

"Alright." I inserted a dollar into the machine and out came two cans of tea. I tossed one of them to him and seated myself beside him, taking care not to squish his fluid container.

"Thanks." He muttered. As I was pushing the fluid container away, March spotted the maroon scar across my palm and questioned it immediately. "What's with your arm?"

"What? Oh, it's nothing, really." I hastily hid my hand behind my back.

"Scarlette, what's wrong with your hand? Who did that to you?" March's tone getting dangerously soft.

I sighed. I can't hide this from him for a long time anyway. "It's...your sis."

"Marge did that?! What the- but I thought you guys bonded."

I shake my head. "When we first met, she wasn't actually asking my personal preferences. She's mad, March. Angry mad. She's upset about the way I treated you during the Britney incident. She kept on accusing me. Saying that I let you in on an endless loop for hopelessness and am enjoying it. She even accused me of ungratefulness. But I suppose, one way or another...she's right. If you hadn't found Britney kissing with her boyfriend, right now, you'd still be talking about 101 reasons why I like Britney. It's all my fault." I cupped my face into my hands.

"What do you mean it's all your fault. All you did was-"

"Oh, don't you see, March?! I'm the ungrateful bad gal here. Right from the start, you're trying to be friends with me but I shunted you to the side. You tried changing me for the better but I refuse. You tried to point out where I was wrong but I was too stubborn to listen. You sacrificed your time and dignity to help me and what have I done? I let you chase a foolish hope, keep away the truth from you and...it was my fault you're like this! If I hadn't got any brain lag at your house I wouldn't have run away like that. You wouldn't be in mortal danger and everything will be just fine."

"But everything is fine."

"No, no it isn't! Nothing is fine. My dad, who's already mad at me for befriending a boy again is now giving me extra lectures about how I nearly put you in mortal danger. And the only way to escape that is to go to your house where I must recall the nightmares, the horrors that haunt the place. And it's also the place where I must face your sister's torment. But I suppose if I stay back at my house, my dad is sure to lash out on me like she did too. So long story short, nothing is fine, March. From the start 'till right now, everything's a mess. A mess I've made and dragged you in. I'm sorry...."

I can feel a couple subtle taps on my shoulder. "Look, Scarlette. I suppose from the start you did make a bad impression to yourself but look at the things you've done to make things even? You also sacrificed your dignity and put up with me feeding you for 2 weeks, right? You became my closest friend when the others aren't and won't because they had their own cliques. You celebrated my birthday when my family won't. You put up with my childish antics and acted like an actual sister for me. A true sister is not those who sought for revenge at the smallest things. A true sister is the one who let go of those subtle things and forget and improve. You slowly forget your mistakes and you improved from them didn't you? Like an actual sister. In my opinion, blood can lie, but one's interaction with another won't. Anything else you need, uhm, counseling on?"

"Well there is one thing. One story I hadn't told any stranger but Mr. Anchovy, the people involved and my parents. The story how I got my scar. I think it was when I was in my 9th grader. One of my classmates, his name's Nicholas - Nick for short - he became my very first friend here before you, March. Like you, he's a kind extroverted guy who managed to uncover my secret chatty side. We went on hangouts, became best friends and we actually became official for a while. I treasured his company and being the young and gullible self I was, I trusted him. His curiosity extended to a dangerous point and he, of course, had to drag me in. We ventured the out of bounds forest when no one's around and inside, we crossed paths with a vicious wild cat. Nick suggested that I should play dead and he won't bother while he called for help. Before I can reply to his ridiculous plan, he left and I was left with nothing but to do what he asked me to do. Nick is a stupid guy because instead of leaving me in peace, the creature lashed it's sharp claws at me and I managed to escape with nothing more than a scar. I hid myself beneath the bushes until the teachers arrived. Once they do, I lashed out the blames on Nick. I mean it is his stupid idea that got us into this mess. And as a result, he's expelled. We met a while before he's gone. That's when we broke up and when I declared I don't need anyone - any boy - to be my little supporting pillar for I can stand by myself. I distrusted boys a while after and so did my dad. Only my dad's trust is a bit harder to straighten out."

March fell silent as I narrated my story. "Scarlette, I-I never knew. So all of your harsh doings are because of a past trauma?"

"Yes, not because I enjoyed it or wanted to. I mean I do want to prove my independent nature but I also want to trust boys once again and gave them a clean slate but I just...can't. Until you came along and change my perspective."

March blushed. "Well now that's all cleared up. I'm a tad surprised about the fact that you snag yourself a boyfriend at 9th grade."

"I know, it sounds ridiculous even to me sometimes. But now I wonder, what is love? And how do you know if it's fake love or actual love? It keeps on tricking me."

"Well, love is the feeling of immense attraction towards someone that might even lead to obsession. There's also a thing called fake love where you think you're falling in love but you didn't. Most of the time, crushes is an example of this fake love thing. Love however didn't come planned. I mean I'm sure you've heard of those love at first sight thing, right? I see it in a way as you don't plan when you'll fall in love. Perhaps just a random gaze that caught your eye might lead you to a road of actual love. So long story short, love sparks when you least expected it. Which is why friends to lovers plot is common in romantic story books. I mean it's not exactly love at first sight, but it is unexpected. I mean you don't befriend someone and predict 'I will fall in love with him / her within months, are you?' I suppose love is a confusing thing. The way it tricks people into doing things just for those they loved and cared is just...wow. I suppose the most interesting things in life are those we know so little about."

"Well, that's deep." I sighed before taking a sip from my can.

"To break the seriousness and the tension, why don't I show you something cool?"

"Go on."

"I've heard of people breaking The Guinness World Records by swallowing water in a short amount of time. Let's see if I can do it."

"Uhm, March. I don't think that's a good idea. I mean what if the tea goes into the wrong chute and then you choke and then I can't saved you and-"

"Quit fretting, scarface. Chillax. The worse it can do is give me a fit of cough." He flicked his hand carelessly.

Before I can stop him, he began chugging his can of tea in such a speed that within a few seconds, he managed to accomplish the task. Just as he wiped the flecks of tea from his mouth, he began to cough a few times as predicted. Only few isn't the right word for it. The coughs are harsher than normal once and I can hear him wheeze in pain during random intervals of these coughs. Panicked, I positioned myself behind him and attempted pat him hard enough for the fluid to change ways. Only too late.  The fluid has gone way too deep out of reach into the lungs and once again he's in mortal danger. Panicked out of my skin, I bit his fluid container, heaved him off the seat and rushed him to his ward. After gently settling him down on his bed and hanging the fluid container back to its pole, I frantically pressed the emergency button and a flurry of nurses rampaged towards the ward. In the scurry for the choking patient, I was forced to go out to make way for them. Cold sweat slid down my face as I tried my best to see through the rectangular glass on the door, trying to take a peek at how March's doing. Finally, I got a clear shot at him as the nurses parted but this clear shot is a depressing one. It filled me with horror once again, I even wished I didn't saw it. A flickering straight green line slides through his heartbeat monitor. He's gone. For good this time.