THE CRY OF SWAN SONG - sokeefe

Chapter 37 : Keefe POV

Hey Foster,

It's hard to fit in, or have a purpose in a place you don't belong.

I remember when you used to show me the human movies that you had. All the Disney ones? All of them.... They got happier endings. They smiled, they were with people they belonged.

But that's not what I want to talk about.... It's pretty hard to tell someone you love this right?

Foster, in short, I just love you. I love you when you smile, I love you when you tease me. I love your beautiful brown eyes, I love your giggle, I love your blush, and I know that I love you more than anything. You ARE my everything.

But you don't feel the same. At least not for me. I know I crack many jokes about Fitzphie but I do know that you and him. Are perfectly perfect for each other.

When I see you with him, you look so much happier, you smile more and you feel content. I love you so much, I can't stand what I feel. I hide it away because if you are smiling, that's what I want too. You look so happy... with him. And I'm selfish.

And I thought this time would be different. I felt something for you that I haven't ever felt before. As much as you assure me, I just don't get a happy ending, we don't get a happy ending like in the movies.

I keep trying to convince myself that you are happier with him, and I know i'm hurting you by holding you back. I will always love you but to see you happy and smile makes me smile. So thank you for telling me I'm worth it and for sitting with me, thank you for your smiles, thank you for being there. I knew that you are better for him, I can see it. I tear myself apart and still I wait, everyday.

And I will keep waiting for you, I will always wait for you Foster. Even when you are living happily with Fitz. I will be waiting, but not for love.... to support from the sidelines and to be here whenever you need

I will always be there to catch you.... Team Foster Keefe is the best remember? I make memories and feel things I have never felt with you. I love you Sophie Foster. But it's better this way. I hope you know that. Fitz is a really good guy, and it will get better, I may not have you but I still have our memories, time will always stand still. And I would do anything to see you one last time. Every time I bleed with hurt, I know I will always wait for you.

I know that you are an amazing Moonlark, I know you will do incredible things, you will always be there for the Lost Cities. And I know that I will never let you go. Sophie Foster is incredible and I just hope you know that. I can't take back the things i've done to you. The pain I've caused you. And it hurts me. I don't want to go, Sophie. But know that I will always be there whenever you need to smile and when you need someone to tag along with on journeys.

But i know that Fitz and you deserve each other. You've gone through so much Sophie. You deserve this. And as much as I feel my wounds getting deeper... I have to let you go.

I fall for you, Sophie. Make sure to spread your wings Moonlark, its been amazing to know you and know wherever you go. I'll be rooting for you, maybe from a universe away, but I will be smiling with you when you triumph, smile, laugh, and remember you. To know that you are there, so I can look into your eyes because all they know is love.

Every memory I make with you I feel all the love that I never received from my parents, I feel what I hope could be eternal. And everytime I listen to you tease me or laugh I savour that, because it's a form of love I never recieved. You give me that Sophie and damn it makes me feel like the luckiest guy alive.

But some things I can't control

Smiling with you forever, dancing with you under the stars, laughing hysterically, bleeding with you.

When we fought I said I would die for you. And I still would.

And if this is the end of our story, I'm so lucky that I have something so special that makes saying goodbye so hard.

But this isn't goodbye, it is just see you soon.

We may never see eachother again. I may never see your face again. I may never get to see my friends again. I may never get to see the sun again.  I may never be able to stargaze again. Hell, I may never open my eyes again. 

But Death can't restrain itself for those we love. It keeps going, it's a neverending cycle. 

So not only should you keep loving, keep laughing. keep living, keep savouring those moments. Because even if I'm long gone you will continue to do amazing things. 

You'll go on without me, I'm sure of it. 

And that's why wherever you are now and wherever you go in the future.

I'll be there waiting, with open arms

To welcome you home.

-K

A/N: Remember that Keefe knew he would sacrifice himself! Chapter 37 out now!

Chapter 38 out tomorrow! And the Epilouge!

Then I have some loose ends to tie up and that it.