UNWORTHY || driam

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 // 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯

Let me start of by saying this;

YES I AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DELUSIONAL.

Being gay though, I often used the fact we live in a world were most people were infact straight to stop myself from ruining my relationship with previous crushes.

But on the rare occasion I had actually knew a crush of mine was into men, I would end up spirralling into a delusional state - often maling it awkward.

So now that I knew Drew was gay, even though there was probably no chance he was into me, I was still hoping for that small chance he was.

And believe me hoping was an understatement.

The second we got out of school that day, I was already a nervous wreck. I'd love to say I was impressive at keeping my cool and florting casually, but I was an utter embarrassment, even to Henry of all people.

The nervous energy I had was building up so rapidly thag I was lightheaded and dizzy. We had only taken barely two steps before the other two started looking at me confused.

"Liam, are you okay?" Drew asked.

I knew he was just tryna be friendly but even something as simple as that had caused my nerves to build up. "Uh yeah, I'm fine."

"If you say so," Drew replied.

Every little interaction was causing me nerves that couldn't be explained. I wasn't a huge overthinker, but some of the simple things that were being said had me spiralling.

After that, Henry chimed in about some anime he was watching recently. I took the fact I was the centre of the conversation as a blessing and used the time to calm down, but I could still feel Drew's dark eyes staring at me, and I couldn't help but spiral even more.

About twenty minutes later, we arrived at my house. It was basic, average sized home, painted a creamy colour, but I liked it.

We immediately headed up to my bedroom, then Henry pointed out that we didn't have drinks, so he offered (or more accurately decided) he was going to go down and get them for us.

He gave me a small wknk when Drew was looking away, making me realise that this was just a tatic to get me to talk to Drew. DID HE NOT REALISE I WAS ALREADY PANICKING!?

"So how are we going to go about doing this?" Drew asked, as if there wasn't an uncomfortable atmosphere sorrounding us.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Uh.. the coming out thing.. Did you forget?" He questioned, stuttering through his words as if he still hadn't came to terms with the fact he had came out to us.

"Oh yeah! uh." I was at a loss for words. I only invited him round because he needed help, at the time I didn't have any alternative motivees, but at the time, sitting there, I was stumped for words. I wasn't sure how I was going to help him, and it didn't help that it wasn't exactly the main thing on my mind anymore.

However, I tried my best to put something briegly together. "..I think we should - uh - try out some scenarios and figure out what is likely to happen so we can prepare for it."

I coughed. The whole sentence was filled with small and unnoticeable stutters that I was still paranoid about anyway.

In my defence, if Drew was overthinking this, he'd probably realise I liked him. Well sooner than he did anyway, but lets not jump ahead.

After I finished my sentence, Drew just sat there, staring at me. It was awkward.

It was obvious he was contemplating what I had said, but I still felt the uncomfortable auroma. Did he feel some weird energy in the room too?

He cleared his throught and I panicked. What if he hated my idea? What if he thought I was bring stupid?

See what I mean about being delusional? Any day before now, I would've been so much more casual around Drew, but ever since Henry pointed out that minor sign he might like me back, every ounce of normality in our friendship had vanished. It was all awkward now.

"It's a good plan," Drew says. "If you want we can start going through with it now."

Just then, as if he'd been waiting for people to mention his existence, Henry burst through the door.

We both knew Henry well enough to know this wasn't just a coincidence.

I knew the situation well enough to tell that the only reason he would dare to interupt mine and Drew's one-on-one time was because he thought he wasn't going to be included.

Henry was holding drinks in his hands. Two pepsi's in glasses were brought in first, then he picked up a third one from outside and brought that in.

He shot me a quick glance, indirectly asking me how it went. I just glared at him before shrugging my shoulders.

While all this was going on, we were still talking to Drew abput what the best way for coming out is, due to the situation that was starting to uncover.

The situation;

Drew's dad is a huge fucking homophobe.