Never Really Over

Chapter 10

For almost two years John had been randomly calling Georgia out of the blue, usually drunk, usually in the middle of the night with the increasingly diminishing hope that she would actually answer. She never had. Until now, when she was the last person he wanted to call. He calls her back, his hand trembling. He realises that not only is he sick with nerves, but he is also still cold from the pool, water dripping from his hair onto his sweatshirt and his shorts cold and damp against his skin. Of course, it goes straight to voicemail.

"Gigi? I'm sorry." He clutches a hand to his head in despair. Moments ago, he was walking on air, and now he's ruined everything. His whole future pissed up the wall because he got drunk and kissed Beth, and of all the people in the world to find out, Georgia is the one who does. "I'm drunk." And suddenly he feels like he is going to be sick. "I love you, okay?" Unable to think of anything else to say he hangs up, then collapses onto the bed in his still wet shorts and screams into his pillow.

*

In her room, Beth has a shower, then climbs into bed with a smile on her face that won't shift. She realises that her bag and phone are still in John's room and envisages how going to collecting them in the morning will pan out. There will be more kissing, and maybe this time, when they are sober and there's no question marks over her consent, it won't stop there. She wouldn't mind that. She thinks that the more time that passes her virginity becomes a bigger deal. It's certainly freaked John out. Now, she would quite like to get the first time out of the way so people (John!) start treating her like a 'normal' 20-year-old and not like she's something precious that needs handled with care.

Beth wakes up early, too excited to sleep anymore, and goes straight to John's room, hoping to catch him before breakfast. He opens the door, already dressed and ready for the day. Beth's smile falters the second she sees him, phone in hand and a frown on his face.

"Will you please call me back?" He says into the phone. He stands aside to let Beth enter but she doesn't move, she stays rooted to the spot, her heart, which she thought was fluttering before, is now beating hard against her chest, full of fear.

"Who you on the phone to?" She knows what he is going to say before he replies, and she also knows that he has decided that what happened last night was a huge mistake.

"Georgia."

He can't look at Beth. It's all too overwhelming trying to keep everyone happy. He's being pulled in two different directions; desperate to make things right with Georgia, whilst simultaneously not wanting to hurt Beth.

Even though he and Georgia are no longer together, he feels like he has cheated on her. He knows that Georgia sees Beth differently to other girls, probably she sees her as a threat. Until now John thought that was ridiculous, but it appears that Georgia (and everyone else) was right all along. He and Beth aren't just friends. Georgia knows he has been seeing other people, but she's never had it rubbed in her face like he did last night, and he feels awful about it. He wants to apologise and reassure her that no matter who he sees whilst they are apart, she is still his soulmate.

Then there's Beth, whom he has just hurt because he is preoccupied trying to salvage his relationship with Georgia. He would never want to hurt Beth, he thinks he would go to war to protect her. Yet here he is stomping all over her heart, he is blissfully unaware she has been trying hard to protect the entire time she has known him.

"You're an asshole," Beth is looking at him with the sheer disgust she usually reserves for Ross, and he knows he deserves it. She stomps back down the corridor to the lift; he calls after her but she refuses to turn around.

*

Beth's sitting alone at breakfast, half-heartedly stirring soggy cereal around the bowl. John sits down in the seat opposite her, and she fails to look up. "Brought your stuff," he slides her phone across the table to her. "Charged it for you." He places her tote bag at her feet. "Why do you have to have such a big bag?!" His tone is light and teasing, just like it would be if things were normal. "You're like Mary Poppins. It's so heavy, like you can't possible need all that stuff." Except, she does, all the time. Anything he needs she's got that in her stupid bag.