Never Really Over

Chapter 51

"You're such a cocky prick!"

This morning John filmed his Diary Room entry for Facebook. Beth has just been sent the finished edit and she's watching it with him. He's standing behind her, his chin almost resting on her shoulder, if she turns her head, their faces will probably be touching. The John in the video is such a lad It is obvious to Beth, and to anyone else who knows him well, that he's feeling very smug about something. That something being what happened last night in Beth's room. His cheeks actually ache a little from the smile that won't budge from his face because she said his name.

Beth wouldn't say she was feeling smug. Her heart was still racing when John got out of bed and left her naked and alone. She'd asked him to stay, but as she watched him fixing his boxers and shorts, he had mumbled 'you know I can't' like a sullen teenager and not the confident man who had just navigated her body better than she could herself.

For John, the refusal to spend the night with Beth was far more complex than being about fears that they would be caught. He didn't really care about that, just as at Everton, everyone already thought they were already at it. What he cared about was trying to keep some kind of control. If Beth wanted the intimacy that usually followed their orgasms, then she had to let him be more than just a holiday romance, because that's what this was starting to feel like. As long as Colin was on the scene there would be no sweet nothings in their ears that turned to dirty talk as they relived what they just did before drifting off to sleep together, only for Beth to wake up to find John had somehow, once again, found his way onto her pillow.

It didn't feel nice John offering her clothes to her so she could cover herself up, she felt ashamed, and his pathetic promise of 'I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?!' made her feel every bit as sordid as what they had just done was. She felt used. Even though she had probably got more out of what had just happened than John had.

She'd been miserable at breakfast. Snappy with Dom when he tried to guess what was wrong with her (he got it in one, when he'd looked pointedly at her with an eyebrow raised and said simply, 'John?') She had stirred her porridge around the bowl until it was cold. Then John had walked in, with a spring in his step that could only be likened to a peacock on parade. Suddenly she felt powerful, he was like that because of her and suddenly her appetite was back.

"For fuck's sake," Dom had rolled his eyes when she got up from the table and told him she was going to get a fresh bowl of porridge. He had just watched Beth's face light up when John had caught her eye and smiled at her. "Will you children stop this charade and just get it on?!"

"Maybe we already have," Beth had smiled haughtily at him; she would never tell him the truth, no matter how much he begged, but there was nothing wrong with encouraging him to use his imagination.

*

England 2 Germany 0

The celebrations over England's historic victory tie in with a birthday party for Jude Bellingham. Having set the benchmark with Jordan Henderson's party, Beth and Emily felt the pressure to create something just as good for Jude's 18th. They want to give him a birthday he will remember, one that will distract him from being away from his friends and family. One of the hotel's function suites is transformed into a Las Vegas casino.

Roulette, blackjack and poker tables are set up around the room. The buffet table is covered in casino themed confetti; dollar signs, cocktail glasses, clubs, spades, hearts and diamonds. Match day meant there was no time for balloon arches today, instead the photo area is a replica 'Welcome to Las Vegas' sign next to some gawdy fake gold palm trees with a gold foil curtain backdrop. The plastic Martini glasses are back at the bar, once again filled with mocktails, but the team's mood is so buoyant after the win, that the lack of alcohol is not a problem.