Never Really Over

Chapter 18

September 2016

John is rarely alone these days, it's a conscious effort on his part, because when he is alone, he pines for Beth. To counteract his loneliness, he makes new friends in the team and fills his free time socialising with them. If he has days off together, he'll go back to Barnsley to visit his parents. Jenny has finally found a grown-up job, it's in Manchester and he spends a lot of time with her at her new flat, generally just getting in the way when she's trying to relax and unwind as he slobs around on her sofa, in a way reminiscent of how he would Beth's. At night, when he's alone in bed he will try and imagine Beth in Belgium, but it's hard to picture her living anywhere that isn't her flat or working somewhere that she doesn't have to wear that royal blue suit that she hated so much. He hopes she's happy, because he is.

John's getting into his car after training when his phone rings; he tosses his washbag onto the passenger seat and is surprised to see Ross Barkley's name flashing across the screen. Ross never calls, only ever sends messages.

"Hiya mate, everything okay?" John doubted that Ross was calling for a chat, he had to want something, and John was intrigued over what it could be. He hadn't seen Ross since his move, not as a conscious thing, they were both just busy, and since the sale of John's flat was completed, he had no reason to go to Liverpool, especially now that Beth was gone.

"'Course," Ross said in the brash manner John was so accustomed to. "How's things?"

"Good yeah," John nodded. It was quite the contrast to when he had joined Everton, he had settled quickly. "How's things with you?" He wondered when Ross was going to get to the point.

"Good yeah, yeah. Wanted to ask you something actually..."

John shook his head at his own reflection in the rear-view mirror and thought 'here we go'.

"I'm listening," he prompts.

"Wanted to know if it's okay with you if I crack on with Beth!?" A nervous laugh followed, the one that John knew Ross used whenever he had fucked up and was hoping to diffuse the tension by pretending it was all a joke or an innocent mistake.

John bristled at the mentioned of Beth name; sitting up straighter in his seat, eyes narrowing, his mouth fixed in a straight line. In a completely involuntary move, his free hand moved to rub the back of his neck. "John? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. Beth's in Belgium!?" His mind is working slowly, taking time to piece together what Ross is saying, to begin with, all he can process is the mention of Beth's name, and not what Ross has actually asked him.

"What?!" John can picture the screwed-up look Ross will be wearing. "Who told you that?!" No-one had. He hasn't spoken to anyone from Everton since he left, wanting to concentrate on settling in at City. He just presumed. "Beth's still here lad, saw her this morning."

John's heart leaps in his chest at the prospect of Beth not being gone forever; she is only an hour away from him. There is a chance he will see her again. He puts his elation aside for a second and it is replaced with something else, something more defensive. "Why you asking me about Beth?"

"Because you guys were y'know..."

"Just mates Ross, I've told you that a hundred times."

"So, it's cool then?! To just crack on?! You don't mind?"

He does mind. Ross may be his friend, but John knows that he treats women like crap; he can't think of anyone he'd want with Beth less. But he also knows Beth. She'll never agree to go out with Ross. Never in a million years.

"All yours buddy."

*

October 2016

People kept asking John how he felt about playing Everton. He was sick of the hearing the stupid question. He didn't know what they expected him to say, he was hardly going to say he was dreading it and he hoped Everton won, was he?! The truth was, he saw it like any other fixture, a game that had to be won. But it would be nice to see his old teammates.