Never Really Over

Chapter 45

Dom was wrong about the ice breaking; he had underestimated just how much Beth had hurt John. The banana hadn't been a sign he had forgiven her, it was just a token gesture. An acknowledgement that she had had a tough day yesterday and he was thinking of her. If they were on the verge of salvaging anything of their friendship, then John would have slipped into the empty seat next to her, but he hadn't. Instead, he had eaten his breakfast across the room with Kyle and a few others and Beth had listened to him laughing loudly wishing she was in on the joke. Then she's struck by panic that she is the joke. Is he telling them how she basically propositioned him last night?! The emotion of the day had got to her, she had cheated on Colin in February and justified it to herself by saying that it would be the only time, but there was no excuse for how she had acted yesterday. She felt every inch the slag John now thought she was.

After breakfast the players gather for a suit fitting ahead of yet another photoshoot, this one for the official team portrait. Beth is present, gathering content for the socials but John barely acknowledges her beyond a nod of the head before he starts riffling through the racks looking for the clothes labelled for him.

The noise in the gym hall is loud, the boys' voices and laughter echoing off the walls as they banter in various stages of undress. There's music playing too, the current number one Olivia Rodrigo's good 4 u. The song makes John uncomfortable, he could have written it himself, if he was any way musically inclined that is. It perfectly describes exactly how Beth has left him feeling. Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you? Like when she told him he was the love of her life, he thinks bitterly. Well, screw that and screw you the song continues, John has tried to feel that kind of viciousness towards Beth, he definitely thinks she deserves it, but it's just not him. Instead, as he watches with envy as she helps various other players dress. He wishes it was his eyes her brown ones are fixed on she does up a tie or fastens a rogue top button. Wishes he was close enough to smell the shampoo from the hair that he can tell is freshly washed by the way it shines when the light hits it. He feels pathetic; she's crushed him, yet every time he looks at her, he remains captivated by her.

*

"I don't how you do it," Beth remarks to Emily as she watches her take a head count to work out which players are missing, either still at breakfast or still in bed. "It's like looking after a bunch of kids."

"I love it," Emily beams. "I get paid to boss people around." Beth likes the sound of that, perhaps social media isn't for her after all. "You got one of the good ones," Emily says jovially nodding towards John who is buttoning up his shirt, his tight abs on show, no sign of the chicken nuggets he gorged himself on yesterday. Beth lets her eyes linger a little longer than she knows she should. The waistband of his Calvin's are on show and she feels a flutter in between her legs as she thinks of sliding her hand underneath the tight lycra and feeling him harden in the palm of her hand. "At least he can dress himself." Emily is eyeing Reece James who has somehow manage to button his shirt up wrong and his muttering to himself as he undoes them to start again.

"Oh, we're not..." Beth says hurriedly, guiltily dragging her eyes away from John and her mind out of the gutter. Her cheeks are glowing as she wonders precisely what Emily has heard over the last few days. Beth had been convinced that everyone here knew all her business but perhaps that is not the case and Emily has better things to do with her time than listen to gossip that is rife amongst the players.

"Is that why you have his legacy number on your wrist?!" Emily gives Beth a look full of mirth that she recognises as one of her own. For the first few days at camp, keen to be discrete, Beth had worn long sleeves, but the warm weather had conspired against her, and she had quickly switched to t-shirts. No-one had commented on her tattoo. Until now. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone," Emily says kindly. "Your secret's safe with me. I'm a master of discretion."