Never Really Over

Chapter 19

December 2016

'See you in January'

When John was a kid, his dad had an old record player he insisted music sounded better on, sometimes the vinyls would get stuck, and play the same part of a song over and over again. Beth's words had played on a loop in h is head, just like one of those broken records.

It had been wonderful seeing her, but too fleeting. She was there, as gorgeous and as captivating as ever, and then she was gone. He could only describe it as like having the winning lottery ticket snatched from your grasp. It had been so easy being with her, any resentment over what had happened between them had inexplicably vanished, and he had thought they could be friends again. But then she had told him she would see him in January. He'd taken it as a dismissal. They were not going to be friends; he would not be merging his Everton and City lives.

In the weeks that followed he had almost reached out to her so many times, but something always stopped him. She had seemed happy, and maybe it was best not to rock the boat. And there was Ross, his stomach turned whenever he thought of Beth with him, and he wasn't sure he could stand being around them together, or even hearing Beth talk about Ross in a way that was anything other than the pure scorn he usually reserved for him. And so, the lack of communication continued and instead, John fixated on January when he would see Beth again, he'd make sure things were different this time, maybe she would be single, God knows, a relationship lasting more than a couple of months would be a huge achievement for Ross He'd not be so reserved this time, they'd make plans, even if it was just as friends, it would be something they could build on. He wasn't ready to give up on them yet.

Since he had seen Beth, he had become, what his mum might say, a little promiscuous. His teammates were typical young lads, going on nights out and picking up girls, and once it was clear an imminent reconciliation with Beth was off the cards, he joined in with the rest of them. He liked the thrill of the chase, the high of knowing he was in with a shot, the sex itself was a bit of a mixed bag, but if his relationship with Beth had taught him anything it was how to please a woman, and the satisfaction of being able to do that almost made up for the times when the deed itself was a bit underwhelming. The evenings always ended the same way. With him retreating into himself and a mumbled apology that they couldn't stay the night, for a reason he never elaborated on, because he didn't really know what it was himself, other than him wanting to get the awkward goodbyes out the way ASAP because he knew he would never see these girls again.

As always, the festive period meant a packed Premier League schedule. John trained early on Christmas Day before spending the afternoon and part of the evening in Barnsley with his family, before driving back to Manchester for an early night ahead of the Boxing Day's away game at Hull. They wouldn't play again until New Year's Eve so after recovery on the 27th, they were free to go home to their families, with another two days off ahead of them. Of course, John returned to Barnsley where he planned to do little other than eat, drink and watch Christmas movies with Jenny, who was one of the lucky ones who had the entire Christmas period off work, and who was also home.

It was the first Christmas he and Beth had spent apart since they'd met, and it was odd not seeing her, over the years they had created all sorts of little traditions, and he missed them. They'd buy each other the ugliest Christmas jumper and silliest socks they could find as gifts, and as ridiculous as it was, he'd stuck to it. He hadn't set out to do it, going shopping for a Christmas present for someone he wouldn't see until January was just sad, but he's seen them out shopping and had immediately thought of Beth. They were still in his car boot, unwrapped in a bag where they would remain until he either returned them or donated them to charity, the likelihood of Beth ever receiving them was slim.