A Lily Among Thorns

𝙴𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚄𝙴

✞ J U L I A N   W E S T B R O O K ✞

THREE YEARS LATER

Julian's eyes peel away from the crowd of people leaving Disciples of Truth with big smiles and he turns away, feeling mocked by them. Even with such a powerful sermon delivered by him, he still couldn't find any uplifting characteristics within it. And that would apply to all his previous sermons for as long as he could remember, though the congregation didn't seem to notice.

He departs to his office and starts collecting the papers thrown on his desk. All of them are either from the day before or the month before— he doesn't care enough to clean up anymore.

His office door pushes open and he looks over his shoulder, no longer in excitement like he used to. Even though he's faced with the kind expressions of Mama Ruth and Nyomi, he has trouble finding peace with them. He turns his attention back to his desk.

"I think we need to stage an intervention for him or somethin," Nyomi mumbles loudly. It's obvious she only said it to make him laugh, but her attempt fails miserably.

Other than the sound of rustling papers from Julian, silence falls in the office. After a moment, Mama Ruth touches his shoulder and makes him face her. "You're comin to celebrate the twins' birthday right?"

Julian glances at Nyomi. He knows how bad she wants him to celebrate his nephews' birthday, but he can't bring himself to want to go. He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm not sure."

"Well, we plan on goin out to eat before the party. Will you join us then?"

He sighs. "Nah, I'm good."

Mama Ruth's intense stare nearly burns a hole in him. She huffs after a moment and puts her hand on her hip. "Nyomi, give me and your brother a second alone, please," she says, her eyes not leaving Julian.

Nyomi does as she's told and the second the door closes behind her, Mama Ruth begins to speak. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, Mama, I just-"

"Julian, quit playin with me. What is wrong with you? Have you been thinking about Celai again?"

He shrugs his shoulders and then nods. "Yeah."

Her face grows soft and she shakes her head slowly. "You're gonna see her again, Jules, stop stressing out. I can see it all in your face when you're preaching and Nyomi sees it too. Pretty soon, you're gonna be affecting the whole church with your bad attitude. Look, I know you miss her, but it's been a good while since then. You can be sad for a moment, but don't forget that God is the one who provides you with joy, not her."

"I know that, but-"

"If you know that, then why are you walking around like you don't? Out of all my years with Johnnie, there are two things that stuck with me: one, you keep God first even when the love of your life is in the room; two, you keep God first even when the love of your life isn't in the room. God didn't bless you with Celai so you can spend your every moment thinking of her instead of Him."

He nods his head again just to show her he understands. In reality, he's had this talk with her pretty much every other day, just in different words. He truly does take in what she tells him, but sometimes, there were moments where it was harder to bear than others.