Candied Secrets- A. Morozova

"Little Alice fell d o w n the hOle,"

Author's note: Remember the last exam? It gets worse. I wrote chemistry- my best and favourite course- on thursday and the exam was a total disaster, ugh. I had so much hope to get an A+ this term, but I can kiss that idea goodbye now, lol. Well, at least I have written math this week as well and I feel relatively confident about that exam. Perhaps, there might be some hope for me yet? XD I should really stop boring you with my life.

If you become confused with the order of scenes, I'm terribly sorry. I realised last chapter that Endellion's feelings of betrayal could have appeared strange and incomprehensible to some, so this is me trying to make her discoveries of the order wasting her time and manipulating her a little bit less confusing. (I'm sure I failed, lol) I split the chapter in two, bc it's far too long.

Btw, I'm an Archie Renaux Mal fan. I don't bloody care about whether or not Alina and Mal are a good couple in the Shadow and Bone Netflix series, bc he is an awesome friend and an awesome charcter generally on his own in the series. I still don't know whether I'll incooperate him as I chose to write the characters from the books, but I'm playing with the idea as I really, really, REALLY love his whole personality. If there are Netflix Mal fans reading this fanfic- I'm with you! 

Anyways, do enjoy the chapter and much love from my side,

Inkwinds.

Ps: I didn't read through it all, so same as last chapter. Write me if you find horrible mistakes, or just plainly trash sounding paragraphs, bc I just had my last exam (before winter break) today and I'm DONE.

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"Haven't I proven my most sincere respect and devotion for you time and time again?" His voice rose as his temper did. "Will you ever allow us both to descend from the endless carousel of pistantrophobia that you have subjected our relationship to, hmm?! " 

He was evading having to answer the question.

"Or perchance it is not I who needs to explain themself at each turn in our relationship, whereas you retain the right of privacy without having to worry about the coercion of guilt gnawing at your throat, nor the threat of a crumbling connection like a precipice caving in beneath your feet!" 

I could see him before me, flaring nostrils and rapidly raising and falling chest like the cage that held the still unbroken hummingbird within. At last, his livid countenance bared to my unveiled sight.

"Perchance, the only question that should be asked right now is whether it isn't solely you, undermining yourself and any profound attachment you could have nurtured otherwise." He hissed.

The irony of his words, for didn't his words cut through me, evoking the very same emotions he accused me of utilising against him?

"I'm not a hypocrite, Malyshka. I'm simply returning the gesture, that is truly all it is." Lips twisted into a facsimile of a smile. "It doesn't feel pleasant to be doubted and in turn made to doubt oneself, does it?"  

He was right. 

It wasn't pleasant at all. Those words... I had been trying to avoid this confrontation for a while now.

And he knew as he always did these days.

Although, I doubted he knew the true depth of my plight.