Fallen from the Sky

Chapter 9

Harriet

I flee with tears streaming down my face, tripping on brambles, being scratched by thorns. What did I expect? How could I be so stupid? That test was such a stupid idea, and, and I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I liked that kiss with Alex. But I can’t just leave Andrew. He’s my crush. He’s my boyfriend. I can’t betray him like this again. I slow down as I get nearer to the camp, and take deep, calming breathes. I can’t leave without Andrew. I look back, remembering the look of complete and utter anger, the pain as he shoved me to the floor, and the desperation as he forced me to leave. He lost his temper, and he was just trying to protect me by pushing me down. But I don’t like people handling me like that. My breathing slowly steadies, and I close my eyes as I lean against the trunk of a tree, letting all of the tears form, then blink them away. I then rub my eyes, trying to make it look like I haven’t just been crying, but there’s no mirror to check how successful I’ve been. I can’t help looking back to where Andrew must be, furious, hurt, or sad. I’m such an idiot.

My ankle stings slightly in the scratches, and I look down towards my dirty socks. It’s just a scratch, I tell myself, it’s just a scratch. What have I done? Part of me wants Alex, but the other part, the good part, wants Andrew. I’m tied. If I didn’t propose the crazy scheme, our relationship would be fine, I wouldn’t be feeling guilty, or had rumors spread about me, or upset anyone. Nothing would be complicated. I just had to be the idiot that screws everything up. On top of this, someone here is targeting me. Someone here is targeting me! That’s why I was doing the interviews in the first place! It’s all their fault! They pressured me into making everything complicated. But, one of the attacks…

They kissed me, and I thought it was Andrew. If I liked Alex’s kiss… does that mean it would be him? But why would he attack me if he likes me? It’s all too complicated. I hear footsteps approaching and I quickly stand up, wipe my eyes and brush the hair out of my face. When the footsteps arrive, I step back slightly, looking at the owner. I don’t need him to arrive when I’m trying to figure out my life.

“Hey.” Says Alex, looking over at me. “What happened?”

I should have known. I can never keep anything from Alex.

“I told Andrew I couldn’t kiss anyone, don’t tell anyone, but, he’s mad.”

Alex looks over at me, then shakes his head.

“He’s fine. You’ll be fine. Trust me, you’ll work it out.”

I’m the one shaking my head this time.

“No, Alex. I’m being attacked, I did something stupid because of it which led me into kissing you which led me into this and, and, and I don’t really know how to say it but I think I enjoyed kissing you and now everything is so complicated and so, so really messed up.” I look to the ground, and instantly regret what I just said. I can feel Alex’s eyes trained on me. He told me to kiss him. But like I said, he knew because, I can never keep anything from Alex.

If he goes and kisses me now, I’ll push him to the floor like Andrew did to me. Tell him to go, before I hurt him. Then he’ll run, and tell the others…

I look back at him, and I want to kiss him, I do, but I need to contain myself. We are too close to camp. No. That’s not the reason. It’s wrong. That’s the reason. Not because of privacy, because of integrity, and because of loyalty. I stand a little straighter and go to find Andrew. But I can’t have Alex with me.

“Look, umm, Alex… why did you come here in the first place?”

“Umm…” Alex blushes a little. “I just wanted to check on you.”

“Well, umm, now you’ve checked on me, I think you should go. Tell the others I’m still interviewing Andrew, and that, umm, you don’t know when I’ll finish.” He nods his head, a little sadly, and walks away. I take a breath. Now we need to get to Andrew. I start walking in his direction, and when I reach the clearing, I find him sat on the floor, picking grass. He pays no attention to me or my presence, like I’m meaningless, like I’m nothing.