Pluviophile | Levi Ackermann × Reader |

|Chapter 16| Lifeless Again

We would all inevitably die one day. The hand of death would pluck us from our stems before we even had a chance to bloom. There would always be an echo that does not belong to a cavern, a life that does not belong to a body. We will all die, some sooner than others. We will all die, some even today...

I watched as my comrades were devoured by these creatures that roamed our lands, I watched as they fought to regain their freedom, I watched as they gave up before giving themselves the chance to try.

I sat motionless on my horse, the zipping of ODM gear cutting through my senses, numbing my thoughts. There was no way we'd make it out of this alive unless we killed and killed and killed. We had to keep killing. We had to keep dying.

I drew my swords, anger now piloting my body. I was subconsciously dismounting my horse, stepping through the watered-snow, boots freezing to the touch. The two titans had been joined by multiple underlings, all of them trotting around and eating the weak.

I cut through one of them, and then two, and then three. I had no time to regulate myself, my conciousness in an abandoned part of my mind. My own thoughts drowned out the sounds of screaming all around me. I let out a shallow breath as I sliced through another titan, stumbling over my own force in the air, crashing down into the bloody frost on the ground. I layed there, the impact snapping me back to reality. The sticky, hot blood of soldiers melted the snow beneath my fingers. I pushed myself up, grunting in pain.

"Idiot! What the hell are you doing!" Captain Levi landed beside me, crouching down on one knee to examine my wounds, wires zipping back into his gear. I grunted at his touch as he placed a thumb on my chin, pushing my head up as he looked at my neck. I had pulled something, and it begun to swell already. "I'll be fine..." I coughed, staggering to my feet. Levi rose with me.

The rain still dropped down from the sky.

"You're being too reckless," The Captains eyes met mine, flashing with what appeared to be concern mixed with annoyance.

"I wasn't thinking right," I admitted. "But I can fight efficiently now. You don't have to worry about me."

"I don't need to worry about you when I know you're in your right mind," He said. "But you're clearly overcome by your emotions. You're letting them get in the way-"

I slapped his hand away as he went to place it on my shoulder. The smaller titans had begun to circles us, but I hadn't the energy to care. "I appreciate the thought, Captain. But I am a Sectiom Commander if you've forgotten," I snapped. "Whether I'm being reckless or not, it's my job to fight."

Levi returned his hand to his side, his stoic and emotionless expression clouding over his face now. He just gave me a short nod, turned, and left.

I stood baffled by how I had reacted. I hadn't meant to snap at him like that...

No, I need to focus.

I shook my head, dodging the hand of a two meter titan that reached for me. I separated it's arm from it's body, pivoting to the left and slicing it's neck. I stumbled.

I was a mess on my feet. I needed to switch to ODM, but I felt exhaustion begin to course through me as well as fear and guilt. My adrenaline was dying down, leaving me a piece of bait for the titan's on the ground. An easy meal.

I wobbled to the left, sending a hook into a tree and lifting into the night. I stayed there for a moment, trying to clear my head. I had seen many people die before, countless times over and over again. This was no different, so why was I now so torn about it more than ever before?

Oh...
I knew why.

The dream.

The image of blood and the sound of cries reminded me all too much of the gruesome images that tricked my mind. Everything was apart of that dream, and now that Levi was a close part of my life, the dream affected me far more than it ever had. It felt impossible to breathe when I thought about it. To think about Levi dying, to think about him in so much pain- it hurt me. It twisted my chest into a painful knot, one that couldn't be untied.
I burned inside, a little more every day. I was turning to a pile of ash. I couldn't let that dream come true. I just couldn't...