Ambivalent

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"Teddy where are you going?" I ignored my mum and Eben throwing my helmet to the side and turned on the motorcycle

they kept trying to grab me "FUCK OFF ALRIGHT FUCK OFF" Eben stepped back fearfully as I took off but each time I went faster the more life felt fake

How the fuck am I that stupid? I knew from the start but my... my life drained out of me, I started shaking with anger for myself not because of her or anyone else

Adria

I took someone else's car and left Salvador with his grandma and Eben I followed Teddy all the way back to his house and quickly ran inside

my legs were trembling not because I was scared of him but because of how bad this could turn out I walked inside his own house and saw him locked in his room

"Teddy?" he didn't even move "Please open the door I just need to explain everything, please, we have to talk about this Ted please just open the door"

my hand began shaking "Leave Adria" it was a relief just to hear his voice but it sounded so sad and raspy "I'm not leaving not until we talk"

I couldn't control my tears anymore "Please just open the door I promise you'll understand please just open the door come on face to face is better"

I tried opening it but it was useless "Ok it's okay take your time but don't worry I'll be here all night till morning if that's what it takes I'm not leaving you alone... I promise"

I sat on the floor next to the door crying my life out silently I felt so guilty but I just found out about my Salvador he's mine... he lived I felt so refreshing

"I was gonna tell you, I wanted to tell you so many times but I was scared I even came to you but I couldn't do it, Teddy, I would call you when I was in Italy remember?"

Theodore

I couldn't focus as much as I tried I couldn't focus my phone rang I grabbed it seeing who it was 'My smalls 💚' I put it on silent and put it on the side

a few seconds later she texted me, I grabbed it again 'We need to talk Theodore it's important' this broke my heart but I don't need her, I was wrong about her

'There's nothing important holding us together anymore, we're done'  I turned it off and got back to work focusing a little more... should've stayed with Auset

 should've stayed with Auset

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I'm a horrible person... "I know you're mad at me" I'm not mad at you "And I know you blame me for this" I don't Adria I don't blame you

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