Down below

Chapter 30. xxx

It was comforting to hear Orion's steady breathing and she found her eyelids heavy with sleep listening to it. A memory popped into her mind: she must have been eight as he scooped her up in his arms and took her to bed after she dozed off on the couch, watching Tom & Jerry after hours and hours of excruciating endurance training. She remembered his scent, that distinctive mixture of clean cotton sheets and darkness if that made any sense. She clung onto his neck, while he put her in bed, didn't want him to leave - she was afraid that when she wakes up, she would be alone, abandoned and they would take her back to the soulless orphanage, - but he never stayed. She clearly remembered where that fear came from. One night she woke up to a horrible thunderstorm raging outside. She climbed out of her bed, scared and went to Orion's bedroom, but it was empty. Her tears started falling and she checked all the rooms until only one was left: the basement. Elianah was terrified of it. She wasn't allowed to go down there, Orion was crystal clear about what would happen if she disobeyed him, he painted a vivid picture of monsters and demons from hell who lived down there, dragging her down. Tonight though, the fear of the storm and of being abandoned were mightier than all the monsters of the universe. She heard weird, muffled noises as if somebody was being tortured. She gathered all her courage and slowly turned the door handle. The stairs were just about visible, lit by some lamp further inside. She quietly walked down, step by step, her heart beating like a hammer. She got to the bottom of the stairs and looked around. The basement seemed massive, random old furniture scattered around. She saw shadows moving at the far-left corner, behind some big old cupboards. She sneaked closer and the sight rooted her to the earth. She saw Orion with a red headed woman, her face contorted weirdly, their limbs entwined. They seemed to wrestle with each other. Elianah let out a quiet whimper and called Orion's name. He froze and turned around the second he heard her voice.

'What are you doing? I told you never to come down here!' he said, his face dark with anger.

He pushed away the redhead and walked towards her. He was naked and her little mind was too scared and innocent to realize what they were doing, but seeing that long buried memory now, Elianah knew exactly what she witnessed that night.

'You have a daughter?' the redhead asked, smiling at her warmly.

'No.' Orion replied quietly, picking Elianah up and taking her back to her room.

His answer broke Elianah's heart into thousand bleeding pieces, but she didn't show it. She knew Orion hated any sign of weakness and all she wanted was to climb under her blanket and cry. He didn't speak, he just dropped her on the bed and left, locking the door behind him. She listened to his receding footsteps and then allowed her tears to fall. She was used to feeling like a reject in the orphanage, to being treated as a burden by the staff or getting beaten up by the bigger kids, but Orion never made her feel that way. He was strict, gruff, but always fair. Their weird routine of training gave her a sense of stability. Until that night, oblivious to the fact of how much she craved for it, she thought they were a family. To hear that one curt word of denial, paired with the cold, distant look on his face brought back all those years of loneliness and neglect. They never talked about that night and she never went near the basement again, but she worked twice as hard, obeyed his every order to make sure he never disappoints him again, because she desperately wanted to belong.

She woke up, her chest heavy from the memory, or so she thought. It took her a few moments to realize, that her head was on Orion's shoulder and they were lying in each other's arms. She could feel his familiar scent and her head was dizzy with the growing realization that she wasn't scared, she didn't feel awkward. No, what she felt was desire and it was so overwhelming that it paralyzed her - she wanted to fight it and be consumed by it at the same time. She was utterly confused.