My parents taught me to be afraid.
Don’t do this or that will happen.
Don’t do that or this will happen.
Don’t go anywhere by yourself or you’ll be kidnapped,
But they would send me into the store by myself.
Don’t go outside at night or you could be raped,
But will you go dump the kitty litter, my dad would ask me after dark.
Don’t open the door for anyone unless we’re home,
But go get my package from the mailman,
My dad would tell me when he was an hour from home.
Don’t go to college because I don’t want anything to happen to you,
But when I graduated I was told to either go to college or get a job.
Don’t eat too much unless you want to look like me,
But if you don’t eat you’ll get in trouble.
Don’t fail in school,
But work a part time job.
Dad, I’m depressed.
Don’t be, he would say back.
Dad, I don’t want to be here anymore.
Suicide is a permenat solution to a temperary problem.
But dad, my trauma isn’t temperary.
It’s stuck with me since the day it’s happened.
My parents taught me to fear.
YOU ARE READING
The Things I Never Said Out Loud
PoetryThe thoughts and words that no one besides myself have heard or said. I started this book at 19, a couple months after I went through the worst breakup of my life. I continues to write it during what had been the worst and best summer of my life, su...
