Suck It Up

Chapter 5

It had been a few days after the fight between Yok and Akk. Akk was still refusing to see or speak to Yok and Yok kept trying to reach out to him. Ayan knew that Akk was only pushing his brother away because he felt ashamed of the things he had done. So Ayan had decided to take matters into his own hands.

Ayan was broke out of his thoughts when Yok tapped him on the shoulder. Yok didn't look well. It seemed like he hadn't slept well in days.

"What'd you need Ayan?" Yok asked.

"I wanted to tell you about Akk. He won't tell you himself but it's something you should know about him." Ayan said.

Yok was a bit confused by what Ayan was saying. He didn't think Akk was the type of person to have things he refused to talk about. Last Yok knew Akk had been doing well. He was accepted into the best school possible. He had been top of his class. Their parents constantly praised his every action.

Ayan lead Yok into the coffee shop and to a table.

"So what's so bad that Akk doesn't want to talk about?" Yok asked.

"Well first I have a question for you." Ayan said.

Yok was a bit surprised. He hadn't expected Ayan to ask him questions. It caused a bit of anxiety to spike in Yok's mind.

"What caused Akk to stop trusting you?" Ayan asked.

Yok should've known Ayan would ask that. He didn't really want to talk about that incident. It was the one thing that no matter how hard he tried to suppress would keep coming back. Yok knew that entire incident was his fault. He shouldn't have been so stupid.

"When we were younger Akk and I had been fairly close. He was always following me around, asking what I was drawing, copying my every move." Yok began." For some reason that made our parents upset. They started keeping Akk inside studying all day. For a while Akk listened and I was always off on my own. It was so lonely. After that Akk started getting the best rades in his class. As for me I was at the bottom of the class. I was always more focused on my art. That's when our parents started comparing us."

"What happened after that?" Ayan questioned

Yok sighed and looked at Ayan for a moment before looking at his hands.

"One day Akk wanted to come with me to one of the smaller cliffs near our house. That was my favorite place to sit and draw. It was so pretty... You could see the ocean and all the boats. You could even see our house." Yok explained." I didn't tell Akk about not being so close to the edge. I had been so focused on my drawing I didn't even realize he had fell. It wasn't a deadly fall. He just broke his arm."

"And after that?" Ayan asked.

"Our parents found him and I tried to hide what actually happened. I tried telling them I wasn't near there but Akk told them I brought him with me... Our parents obviously believed him." Yok said." After I that I was always chastited for everything I did. For a while it was just parents telling me to stop my art then it got to them critizing every aspect of me. My looks, the way I behaved, what I believed in... Everything I did was wrong in their eyes. I gave up trying and did whatever I felt like."

"Akk hated it didn't he?" Ayan asked.

Yok laughed a bit to himself.

"Akk hated me so much after that. If it was my parents and I fighting then it was me and Akk." Yok said.

Yok wiped away the few tears he felt forming. He hated talking about what happened. He hated to think about his parents. The only person he ever told this to was Gumpa. He was the only person Yok ever talked to about the things from his past. He would never tell any of the other guys about his life. As far as they knew he was just some kid who got kicked out and was down on his luck.

"I can understand now why Akk doesn't trust you." Ayan began." But given some of the things Akk has done... He doesn't have much room to talk."

"What has Akk done?" Yok questioned.

He was so deathly afraid Akk ended up like him. That was one of the things he never wanted to have happen. Yok never wanted Akk to do anything he had done. He never wanted Akk to turn to the less than favorable parts of society like he had. Despite the constant comparring to Akk Yok still wanted him to be a good person and to be successful.

"At Suppalo Akk was essientally manipulated by some of the adults there. From what he's told me it started when he first got to Suppalo." Ayan began." Akk says that the other students treated him differently because he's a country boy. Apparently for a while he was constantly getting into fights and having to deal with the prefects..."

Yok noticed how upset Ayan looked. It had him worried. What had Akk done?

"My uncle Dika was working at the school at the time... Dika convinced Akk to become a prefect and Akk did. It was all okay for a while apparently. Except for when three of the students began to protest the rules." Ayan explained." One of the teachers manipulated Akk into doing horrible things to the protestors. He pushed a flower pot of ledge and almost hit one of them, He took the brakes off a car and almost hit them..."

The more Yok heard the more he felt his heart break. He didn't know that Akk was doing these things. He didn't know how bad things were for Akk.

"He threw paint all over their protest signs and he almost set it on fire but I stopped him. After that he stopped. He swore to me he stopped." Ayan said." I told him I wouldn't say anything about it as long as he came clean to everyone. Things were getting better slowly. Akk and I we became a secret couple. Everything was great."

"What changed?" Yok asked.

"Somebody was still continuing to attack the protestors. Akk and I worked so hard to try and figure out who it was. Akk was also trying to keep his grades up and keep the prefect club and the two teachers running from finding out the truth. He was working so hard to do everything." Ayan explained." Then came the day for Akk to accept the Best Boy award. Nothing went wrong with the ceremony but when we left adn were in front of the class..."

Yok noticed Ayan was clenching his fists and tearing up.

"What happened to you and Akk?" Yok questioned.

"Someone we considered a friend told everyone about what Akk had done." Ayan said." Then he... He exposed our relationship in front of everyone. There was so much homophobic things being said that day. Akk completely broke. You could see it on his face. The depression, the anxiety, the thoughts of suicide... You could see that all the pressure finally made him snap. He did attempt to end his own life but I stopped him... I couldn't let him die like Uncle Dika..."

Yok didn't know how to respond. He didn't know how bad things had been for Akk. He should've been there for him. Yok couldn't stop himself from crying. He understood now why Akk reacted the way he did.