Suck It Up

Chapter 3

"What have you been doing all these years?" Akk asked quietly.

Yok and Akk had stopped crying and sat quietly while Ayan made some food. Akk wanted to know more about his brother but didn't know how to ask the questions he wanted.

"Well I went to college for art, I have a good friend group, and I met a guy I like we aren't on the best terms right now though but I still like him." Yok said." That's it."

Akk knew that wasn't it. He had remembered Ayan and Khan talking about the ROL protests and how one of the members got shot in the side. Then when he looked it up on his own and saw Yok in a hospital outfit. And now when Yok moved his scar was visible through the sides of his sleeveless shirt. Akk wanted to ask about it but he was terrified of upsetting Yok so he just let it be.

"You're gay?" Akk asked.

"Yeah... Is that a problem?" Yok questioned.

Yok couldn't help but feel afraid. Ever since he decided to be open about his sexuality he was often the victim of homophobia. It did stop happening as often after Gumpa taught him how to defend himself but that fear was still there. Although he didn't think Akk would be like that.

"No, it's not a problem," Ayan called out.

Yok laughed a bit when seeing Akk's stunned expression. He had a feeling Akk and Ayan were either a couple or just good friends. He couldn't help but feel sad he had missed out on so much of Akk's life.

"You know... I still see you as the little kid you used to be." Yok began." But now you're all grown up. You are exactly what mom and dad wanted as a son."

Akk rolled his eyes. He should've known Yok would say something like that. It was one of the various things Akk hated about himself. He hated that he spent all his life trying to be perfect for his parents. Sure they never asked him to be perfect but after hearing how they talked about Yok he couldn't help but try to be perfect.

"Tell him about yourself Akk. It's not fair if he's the only one talking." Ayan said as he started setting the table.

Akk just shook his head and grabbed food. He quickly began to eat. Ayan just watched him with a disappointed expression. He wasn't surprised that Akk was trying to avoid talking about himself. He knew how Akk hated every little thing about himself. It was just a bit upsetting for Ayan to see how Yok looked so hurt and sad.

"Its fine Akk has never been much of a talker," Yok said quietly.

"What was Akk like as a kid?" Ayan asked.

"Well as a kid Akk was quiet, always studying, very gullible, shy even," Yok said before Akk covered his mouth.

"He's lying Ayan." Akk said.

Yok roughly shoved Akk's hand away before glaring at him.

"Don't ever do that shit again Akk." Yok muttered.

"And what will you do? I'm not that little kid you used to torment on the daily." Akk said.

Yok shook his head as he glared at Akk.

"You may not be a kid anymore but your personality is still the same." Yok began." You are still a spoiled rotten brat who liked to destroy my art supplies."

Yok stared at Akk as Ayan tried to calm Akk down. He watched carefully as Akk clenched his fists and refused to look in his direction.

"You are still mom and dad's pride and joy. Akk is so perfect. He went to the best school in the country." Yok said." Akk is so smart. Akk is so kind. Akk will do great things. But what about me? You got all the praise and what did I get? I get fucking belittled, had my things destroyed, and I got kicked out. How can you sit there and make me out to be the bad guy Akk?"

Akk looked at Yok. He was stunned by what Yok had said. It wasn't something Akk didn't already know. He knew how his parents always bragge about all of his achievements. He knew how they talked about Yok. Akk could vividly remember when people would visit after Yok was kicked out and his parents told them about how Yok was nothing more than a terrible person and a criminal. After a while Akk began to believe it.

"I know I'm a shitty person." Yok said before getting his things together." But I'm not the bad guy in our lives."

He left crying to himself. He left Akk to sit in the room crying while Ayan comforted him.