Suck It Up

Chapter 9

It was late at night when Yok made his way to Dan’s studio. He was a bit drunk but he still knew the way to go. All he wanted at that moment was Dan. He wanted to see him and hear his voice. Yok wanted to be with the man he loved.

When he made it inside he spotted Dan drawing. It made Yok smile. He loved the concentrated face Dan had when drawing.

“Dan?” Yok said quietly.

Dan immediately looked up and smiled at Yok. He set aside his sketchbook before going over to Yok.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me?” Dan asked.

“I missed you…” Yok said as he began to cling to Dan.

“You’re drunk aren’t you?” Dan questioned.

Yok shrugged a bit as he looked at Dan. He could tell that Dan already knew the truth but Yok didn’t care. He just wanted to be near Dan.

“Let’s get you ready to sleep Yok.” Dan said as he lead Yok to sit on the bed.

Yok let Dan maneuver him to sit on the bed. He let Dan take off his shoes before tucking him under the blankets.

“You aren’t going to cuddle with me?” Yok asked.

“I’m going to be drawing. You can sleep or you can talk if you want.” Dan said.

Yok shoved the blankets off himself before going over to Dan and leaning against his back slightly.

“I talked to my mom. She is still so fucking mean. She was saying that my brother would end up like me… Am I really that bad?” Yok asked quietly.

“You aren’t bad Yok. Your mom just doesn’t understand you.” Dan said.

Yok couldn’t help but laugh a bit. Nobody truly understood him.

“She turned my brother against me… She always compared us… Yok is bad and Akk is good. Akk is so smart and Yok is so dumb. Yok is a criminal and Akk is a good citizen.” Yok ranted.” Akk will do great things and Yok will be a freeloading jailbird. Yok is stupid, Yok is worthless, Yok will never amount to anything, Yok will always be in and out of jail, Yok is such a failure.”

Dan sighed quietly and turned so he could hug Yok.

“None of those things are true,” Dan said.

“It has to be. My mom knows me better than anyone else. She saw me grow up. She knows I’m no good. I’ll never be good.” Yok mumbled.” I’ll always be the outsider.”

Yok held onto Dan a bit tighter as he started crying.

“Why can’t she just love me? I would do anything for the chance that she would love me.” Yok said shakily.” I’d do anything to hear her say she is proud of me and that she loves me.”