TF2 x Reader [Oneshots]

Mercsgiving Headcannons

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! I'm updating the book with a short message and some headcannons of our beloved mercs on this delicious day.

Starting off I'm going to apologize for my absence. I'm 17 and a Highschool dropout. I work at Taco Bell and I am barely making it but life's not too hard and I am doing pretty okay. I am sorry to say this but I never have enough time to write, it takes a lot of time and creativity and I lack both of those things lol. I will continue to write, but it will most likely be stuff I'm wanting to write... unless if I come across a request I feel motivated enough to write. I love all of you and I really appreciate your support. Now on with the chapter!

Scout: Loves the holiday, reminds him of his shitty childhood though. He always pigs out, loves turkey, always begging for Dell to fry the damn bird instead of throwing it in the oven. Having as many siblings as he does made it extremely difficult for him to get a bite to eat especially for Thanksgiving. He's happy to eat as much as he can, everyone else thinks he's disgusting when he's eating. The boy eats everything with his hands and chews with his mouth open. After the meal he's too tired to do anything (even fuck). This is the one day you can go without Scout begging to hit.

Soldier: Loves the holiday as well, makes slightly racial comments all throughout the day. (this fucking guy) He hates ham with his Thanksgiving dinner, shits on everyone who eats it. (not literally of course) He absolutely loves Dells cooking but will never admit it. His favorite are the brown sugar yams. He will still make a move on you, but will pass out halfway through your love-making due to all of the turkey he ate. Farts a lot while he's sleeping, too. XD

Pyro: Doesn't eat with everyone else, they will never show their identity no matter what. Dell still serves him though, making sure to give him extra whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. The next day they give Dell a big hug, thanking him for the meal. Pyro doesn't fuck, can't give up his identity nor do they even want to screw.

Demoman: Doesn't mind the holiday mainly because he finally has drinking buddies. He also enjoys all of the food. He likes to make fun of Dell for not seasoning his food enough until he takes his first bite, apologizes for his teasing, and chows down. He also secretly loves Dells cooking. He loves green bean casserole, he eats more of it than anyone else. After the meal he pulls you aside and kisses you, luring you to his bed and napping with you until pie is served. He's too tired to fuck which is fair.

Heavy: Hates the true meaning behind the holiday but loves all of the food to eat. No one makes fun of how much he eats and the food is deelicious. Eats everything he can, everyone offers him their leftovers and he's happy to take them. Helps Dell with the dishes after the meal, then is ready to give you all of his attention until the two of you crash. This man loves to eat, a full belly won't get in the way of anything if you know what I mean.

Engineer: Starts cooking the night in advance, making dish after dish until he is fully prepared for tomorrow. He insists on no one helping him, but everyone plays a special part for the meal. He loves his cooking, yells god damn after eating something that really tickled his fancy. Aka his mashed potatoes. He's too full to eat a lot once all of the food is served because of all of the smacking he did while preparing and heating the food. You're sound asleep by the time he's done cleaning and everything, but he spoons you until he falls asleep. In the morning you wake to the sound of him strumming his guitar. Life is good.

Medic: Doesn't eat much, but is thankful for all of the food. He's quite picky, but samples each dish. He then gets full off of the samples... Anyways his favorite thing about the meal would be the rolls, he enjoys them with lots of butter. He tells everyone that he's happy to be apart of everything. He's been drinking pints of beer with Demo and Sniper, Spy's just sipping on wine. He's very full after eating, passing on pie and later found snacking on jello. You guys planned on getting it on but then you both unexpectedly pass out while watching TV.

Sniper: This fucking dude loves Thanksgiving so much. For a New Zealander *EHEM* I mean an Australian he loves it a little too much. He tries his best to help Dell with the cooking but he's just naturally bad at cooking. Drinks like a fish and ends up pissing for 10 minutes straight near the end of the night. This dirty dude grooms himself to the best of his ability before eating with everyone, but always insists that the two of you shower together so you can help him bathe... he just wants some shower sex. And he gets what he wants lol. He passes out in the field after eating, you have to beg Heavy to bring him inside.

Spy: Fucking. Hates. It. Too much food, too much drinking. Dumb sports. He is also quite the picky eater, he pulls out a charcuterie board from his fridge so he can eat with everyone. He gets pretty buzzed, but never sloppy drunk. After the meal he invites you to his room, drinks with you and seduces you. He's not there when you wake up.

Thanks for reading guys, have an good day!