As I wish {the second part of my autobiography}. ✔️

Art (new passion)

Melanie Tremblay was a wonderful girl she gave me a lot of clothing that I still wear to this day and as well as a show called Penny drag forward with a rat walked what is pretty good on DVD but I rarely watch the DVDs. I remember we would have paint nights and I remember paying now eating almost every night. I remember I did a night and day big dipper with the Smiths Falls Hydro towers on the actual two canvases she gave me she gave me another canvas and another canvas and then she did one prompt that I'm still looking at that has yet to be finished because it's too perfect even for me to do. Soon enough he gave me a book called wreck this journal.   
You've probably heard about a wreck this journal many times in my biography well that's her that gave it to me Melanie Tremblay and I remember that I couldn't do very much with it because I thought I could ruin a book called not in my life I don't have the heart of it or destroy a book even if it tells you to destroy it. So what I ended up doing was using it as a sketchpad. I suggest everything and everything from Sirenhead the constellations to flowers to whatever comes to my mind I filled it up really fast. Soon I fell in love with art again and I found it was very simple to do art if you're creative enough to do it. I believe in Wyatt old have some Maya and the actual Insane Clown Posse mansions as a means of creativity as a means of getting rid of your anger instead of feeling sorry for yourself and doing drugs and alcohol. So I continued on a drawing and drawing and doodling and stuff until one time I started stumbling on designs that I thought were pretty nice. But I would take pictures of them and put them on Facebook and I'll be the end of it but that was sad. I never thought about a tattoo I was thinking about tattoos but I was looking online for different designs I didn't think I would be original enough to think of anything.      But then I ended up testing a few of the drawings against my scan and I like a girl would test her make up against the skin colour of her skin and I would find out that that that looks good on my wrist I think I'll get that tattooed on my wrist we we would do kind of thing so I ended up finding that art was creative and beautiful something I didn't like to do when I was in grade 8 was doing art because I just didn't like it was a part of the curriculum and stuff and I fucking hate it out. But in this case it was an audit for my PTSD an out that I was using I thought it was just for my PTSD.   You got to get off my chest kind of thing I didn't think about putting it on my chest not the letters PTSD but actual artwork and stuff I'm nuts about it. I will draw draw draw I even remember drawing and asking my aunt for unicorn pens or unicorn pens Unicorn pens or like fountain pens and you give them an ink and then you do whatever you want to draw with them and stuff and I tried a few tattoo designs with them coming up with the solar system design. That was the best one I came up with. Whenever I get frustrated I always get out the unicorn pans even though my aunt despises me nowadays, I don't give a shit about what she thinks just as long as the gift still works I'm going to use the gift. I don't care about the source of the gift it's the gift itself that matters most especially if it's functional and it was functional still is and I'm going to use them again sometime. I use them for gift ideas and stuff now and usually ends up being put against my skin but drawing and the next you know now I'm all I am on tattoo kit again. This is going to lead into the next chapter which is where I'm going to tell you about my new obsession other than music and writing this is an obsession that is beyond cure or beyond therapy this is an obsession that it gives me control in my life and helps me survive in the world is harsh and everything else that is not pleasant. It is called tattoo designing. Sorry I ended up using the wreck this journal book as a means of designing my tattoos and then I was given another book by Melanie Tromlay which was called pick me up which was a peptalk a minute and I drew in that as well and and doodle in that thought of some ideas for tattoos. Came up with plenty of ideas as I said this was an assertion that was going to continue on until the day I die kind of thing it was an obsession. Am I happy that I am obsessed with drawing a dark yes I am because it helps me the stress and other things.   I need other things in creative means to help myself with my anger and PTSD and depression stead of feeling sorry for yourself sitting all day feeling sorry for yourself and letting it get debilitating I decided to draw my way out and help myself with life. Will I be learning the value of money at this point yes I did start learning the value of money Because I ended up getting a job just to get the tattoos that I was designing. Some thing that I'm proud of I have a job that I work at call Beach House and I clean it nice houses a day program that I clean every Sunday and I'm very proud damn proud of it. And is one of my happy places because I like to clean and is basically one of my workout routines is to clean like a bastard.   And I do that every week.